Game On!
by YoungBoch
Summary: The ever-savvy technophile Kensuke was allowed to see the inside of Nerv. Unfortunately for Asuka and Shinji, his recorder uploads more than just audio. Now the two must fight their way through his hard drive and make it out in one piece.
1. Introduction: Dead Space

A/N – I guess you could call this a crossover, but it really isn't, since the plot will change every chapter depending on what game they're in. The chapter titles will coincide with the game in question. If you've never played the game before, scroll down to the end of the chapter and I'll give a short summary on it. Either that or look at Wikipedia. For this fic, assume the series is true, not the two new movies. Enjoy!

Key:

"Test" = Speech

"_Test_"= Thought/Different Language

Chapter 1: Introduction/Dead Space

"Hey guys, thanks again for letting me tag along! I promise, I'll stay out of the way," the only one that's been talking during the entire car ride continues to babble on, causing the annoyed red head to gently bang her head on the window.

"Keeping your mouth shut would help, too. We're here to work, not play," Asuka snapped out her first comment of the day. Shinji really didn't mind being in the back with Kensuke – at least this way he could keep Asuka from hitting him too often. Not like there was much of a choice in the matter, as the German leaped in the front seat as if she was being chased by a lion, "Misato? Mind telling me who approved this?"

"This came right up from the top. It's not that bad – you'll be in your Eva the whole time, you won't even hear him," somehow, this didn't give either pilot much satisfaction, "Kensuke, I noticed you brought a tape recorder with you. You're free to use it, but we'll go over it before you leave to ensure you don't say anything that could… harm the security of Nerv."

"Actually, it's not a tape recorder. It's a micro flash drive with a built in speaker so I'm able to record on it. Twenty gigabytes! And it has WiFi! With the press of a button, all the data I recorded will shoot to my computer at home. Isn't that amazing? It's smaller than a pack of gum!" Asuka sighed just a little louder than really needed, earning a stern look from her guardian.

"Whatever, you get my point. Just make sure you stay out of the way when we're running the tests, because we're testing out some new equipment," the dirver reaches down and pulls a file from under her seat, "Speaking of, I need to talk to you two. We're trying to make it safer for you to pilot, so you won't actually be inside the Eva anymore if this works out. We're going to try and make everything digital – you'll still be in your entry plugs, but not in the Eva. All audio, video, and neural transmissions will be done digitally… at least, that's the plan," it was an unspoken question, but all four members wondered why it's taken Nerv this long to produce a technology that _didn't_ put them in harm's way.

"Amazing!" typically, Kensuke was the first to respond.

"Is it dangerous?" Shinji's always been the cautious type, which is quite ironic for a boy who stares down forty-story monsters on a monthly basis.

"No, it's supposed to make your job less dangerous actually. Like I just said. Germany is the one that supposedly perfected this technology, and they haven't let us down before," just slightly proud of her heritage, Asuka let out an unnoticed smirk, "You'll see, it shouldn't be that big of a deal," the car comes to the bottom, and out of habit, Shinji and Asuka go to their respective locker rooms.

"At least they kept our old plug suits," while still under the custody of the German branch of Nerv, Asuka always despised how frequently they updated equipment, including her plug suit. To her, it seemed as if once she felt at home in one plug suit, they'd bring out another, increasingly more revealing one. With a small huff, she walked past the still blabbering Kensuke and crawled into her second home – the entry plug, "That kid needs to be checked for worms."

"Okay Asuka, we'll go ahead and link you up first. Just act as if this is a normal sync test," Akagi walked her through the painfully short set of instructions as her entry plug goes black. A very small part of Asuka was worried about this new technology – in her eyes, why fix something if it's not broken?

"Another two hours of my life I'll never get back…" with a deep breath, she let her hands rest on the controls. About ten minutes pass before so much as a single sound could be heard, but even when sound did penetrate her ears, she cringed, "Akagi! Get the stooge away from the microphone! I can hear every word he's saying," a fleeting part of her wondered how long it would take for the bubbles to stop if he was, say, held underwater…

"Asuka? What are you doing here?" unbeknownst to her, Shinji was surprised at being able to see Asuka, but more surprised at being able to see _all_ of her. And here he thought that quick glance when they first met was nice. She noticed his nudity, but was far from gawking as he was.

"God Third, cover yourself up. No one needs to see that," they both realize they were completely nude at the same time, letting out a yelp in perfect unison, "Turn around!" in a feeble attempt to stay decent, Asuka covers herself up with both hands. As if that kept the boy's eyes from wandering, "Damn it, Akagi! Get me out of here! And shut Kensuke up!" still no reply.

"D-Do you think something's wrong with the audio? Maybe they can't hear us," enjoying the silent show in front of him, Shinji tried to speak without too much nervousness. He failed miserably.

"Impossible! I can hear that stooge just fine! And why can we see each other? And I'm freaking naked! I shouldn't have to go through this!" in anger, the teen punches the side of her entry plug, only to find her fist went straight through as if nothing was there, "What the hell? Shinji, try to move," the more she tried to struggle in her seat, the more she felt it disintegrate under her.

"Why? Oh…" finally, she looks over and catches Shinji staring at her, face completely red.

"Cover your eyes!" somehow, she managed to reason that Shinji has a small lung capacity. She duly noted this observation, "You better run when we get out of here, I swear."

"I-I didn't mean to! What's happening?" through the Third's incessant whining, Asuka caught wind of Kensuke saying something out of the ordinary.

"Shut up, listen," something's happening out there…

"Okay Kensuke, they're going to be in there for a while. Why don't I drive you home?" Kensuke replied with a hesitant acceptance, "I was listening to you record, everything's fine. Just go ahead and turn it off though, we're going to be walking for a bit."

"Okay, one second," a deafening clicking sound echoed through the abyss, and before their brains had time to register everything, both Shinji and Asuka fell to an unseen floor.

"Damn!" both children hold their backs in pain, "This is just getting annoying! Get me out of here!"

"Stop yelling, they can't hear us," as soon as he began to speak, a loud whirring sound filled the apparent room they were in, and Shinji screamed like the girl he is as the room filled with a blinding light.

"What now?" getting exponentially annoyed, Asuka covered her eyes with a forearm, and soon found herself standing on solid ground, "It's about time!" while she didn't exactly know what to expect, what she did know was that she didn't like the looks of wherever she was. A large, glass roof space ship was her location; the occasional unnoticed blood smear on the wall broke the smooth metallic surface of the walls behind countless command consoles. Truly a horrid sight, she thought, "Is this supposed to be cute?"

"Um… Asuka?" she turns to yell at him for gawking again, only to find herself fully clothed in a black, armored plug suit – at least, this was her assertion of it. In reality, it was a state-of-the-art space suit, and Shinji was wearing the exact same thing, minus the curves and plus a helmet with a glowing blue H for vision, "Is this supposed to happen?" a loud moaning comes from all directions, sending a chill up the two children's spines.

"This isn't funny, Akagi! Get us out of here!" for the first time, Shinji heard fear in Asuka's voice. In his mind, this was a perfectly good time to have an anxiety attack. If the demon girl herself can't keep a composure, how could anyone possibly expect him to? "Shinji, what are…" the boy caught a glimpse of the terror first, though he was just now taking in all the details of it. Unable to speak, he simply pointed to the small demon on the floor behind Asuka, "Oh God," she turns around and sighs with a smile in relief, "It's just a baby! You're such a drama queen," while she'd never point this out publicly, she was quite the mothering figure when it came to young children. This small, defenseless baby warmed her heart, though it simultaneously angered her to think someone left it here. Smiling down at the child, she knelt down to pick it up, only to have a ringing screech fill the room as four tentacles – all at least six feet tall – shot out the back of the child, "_Teufel Kind!_" reverting back to her old 'spider on the floor' tactics, she screamed like a child and stomped on the demon with all her might, "_Dieser Test ist verdammt mir auf die Nerven!_"

"I think it's dead, Asuka," though the head was a bloody bowl by now, Asuka insisted on making damn sure it was down. Turns out that mothering instinct only works on cute babies.

"Where the hell are we?" releasing the pent up anger she's apparently able to hold for no more than five seconds, the girl whips around and yells at him – though she found it difficult, considering he looked almost as scary as the baby, "And take off that damn helmet!" not one to object, he followed orders and dropped it to the floor.

"Maybe we should try and find some help. I'm sure this is just a glitch or something."

"I'm not moving from this spot!" she crossed her arms and stomped a foot for emphasis, "What if there are more of those things? I'm not going on a freaking adventure!" with a casual shrug, Shinji turned and began walking away, "Hey! Where are you going? _Hey_!"

"Just wait there. Alone. In the dark. I'll bring back help eventually," his display of a pair made her fume, but she wasn't about to move. This is just a computer glitch! There's no reason to be scared! Surely, someone will come soon and help her. Why bother going off to look?

… though, that distant moaning was starting to get to her…

"Hold on! I'm coming with!" by now, he'd already turned a corner and was long gone. Sprinting in the general direction he went, she quickly came to a fork in the road, "Left!"

Funny thing about forks in the road. Generally speaking, there's a fifty-fifty chance of a person ending up where they actually want to be, or ending up on the complete opposite area of where they wanted to be. These statistics seem somewhat off, as no matter which direction people tend to choose, then end up going the wrong way. Some would call that karma, others would call that annoying. Asuka was the latter type of person.

"This is absolutely crazy! How could he leave me alone? Some man he is," tired from running, she took up walking with crossed arms. She realized that she chose the wrong direction, but she made the rash decision of crossing several more forks and corners, leaving her completely lost, "Come on already! Where are you?" her high pitched voice rang through the empty, increasingly dark hallways. The maternal instinct she had for God only knows what reason turned out to be a major downfall in this life, as when she came across a man lying on the floor in the distance, she couldn't help but try and help, "Hey, buddy! You okay? Wake up," she slowly approached to find the man shirtless, with several lesions and boils covering his back. His face couldn't be seen from her angle, but even at this gruesome sight, she chose to continue to close the distance, "I'm okay, I'm okay, I'm okay," feeling her hands start to shake, she took a final step towards the body, narrowing the gap to three feet, "Idiot, wake up," with a gentle tap of her toe on his head, the body popped up with a deafening, low pitched screech.

Asuka was not above running and squealing like a pig.

Almost as soon as she began to run, she heard a noise that was half gratifying, and half horrifying. To her, it resembled a shotgun blast, but something much more alien, at least to her ears. Taking a moment to stop running, she turns to see the monster just standing there, arms up as if it was still chasing. Slowly but surely, the monster split down the middle, top to bottom, and the sides fell out of the way to show Shinji holding something along the lines of a table saw. Somehow through all this, he had an awkward smile on.

"Look what I found," if she wasn't so furious, she probably would have hugged him.

"What if you had hit me? Idiot!" with a running start, she kicked out all of her rage in a single blow to his chest. Luckily for him, the armor wasn't exactly cheap.

"Here," nonchalantly, he hands her a gun labeled 'laser cutter', with three barrels aligned parallel with the floor, "Aim for the limbs or head, torso shots don't do anything," to him, Asuka seemed just a little too comfortable holding the gun.

"Oh, so you get the big bad table saw, and the girl gets the pistol. Real cute," making her jump, he shot off the blade right next to her on the floor, "Cut that out!" with a smile and a pointing finger, he directed her to the baby, now split in two.

"That's why I get the good one. Now come on, we need to find a way out of here. There's only so much ammo," she had no idea how he was being so calm about all of this. '_He knows something I don't… he's hiding something._' The duo walked through the labyrinth of corridors, taking out the occasional monster along the way, and what seemed like an eternity passed before they came across anything that wasn't a plain metal wall. What they saw didn't exactly comfort them.

"This is terrible… who would do something like this?" in awe of the sight, Asuka lost the attitude and slumped her shoulders. Countless jars of a clear, green liquid lined the walls, and a good third of them had a baby fetus in them. Some were barely visible, and others we so far along in the term that they look as if they could be born right now, "What's going on, Shinji?"

"Let's just keep going. We have to come across something eventually," forcing her feet to move was becoming a more and more strenuous act – not out of exhaustion, but out of fear. The fact that she can feel these monsters means they could touch her, which leads her to believe they could also hurt her. This wasn't a settling conclusion. They've been lucky so far, but how long could they possibly last with limited ammo? This thought made her nauseous.

"We need to rest. My legs are killing me," she leans up against the cold metal wall and lets a whine escape her throat, "I just want to go home…"

"Okay, we can take a break. I'll keep an eye open, just tell me when you're ready," she slid down the wall until she was sitting, hugging her thighs and resting her head on the knees in front of her. '_This is crazy! I have to be dreaming, there's no way this is real. I just need to wake up, that's it. Come on Asuka, wake up… wake up…_' this, of course, proved to be fruitless. Roughly five minutes of complete silence passed before she forced herself to her feet.

"Let's go," and with that, the two continued their trek down the dark hallways. No more than ten seconds passed before she spoke up again, "Why are you so calm? What do you know about this place?"

"You wouldn't believe me if I told you," he spoke with a matter-of-fact tone that just grinded on her nerves, "But we'll be fine, trust me."

"No! Tell me!" he let out a long sigh before continuing.

"This is a video game. An old game, but still a game. I can't remember the name of it, but Kensuke showed me it a few weeks ago. He just bought a new gaming computer, so he's installed nearly every game there is," predictably, the redhead let out an overly sarcastic laugh, "See? I said you wouldn't believe it."

"Are you stupid? You're really going to stand there and tell me that we're in a video game? You're insane!" for the first time since she got here, she broke a smile, "For future reference, think before you speak, Third."

"Hey, it's just a theory," her laughter broke in an instant as he shot another monster in front of them, leaving the hallways quiet once again, "I… have an idea…"

"What now? You're gonna say we're dead?"

"No, I'm still going with the game theory. But I bet if we beat the level or even the game, we could get out of here. Just humor me until you come up with a better plan," with a scuff, the pair continued to walk down the hallways. The occasional obstacle here, the rare monster there, nothing exactly too challenging or too easy for them to handle. Specifically speaking, Shinji was the designated shooter – Asuka, so far, has only shot monsters that were clearly dead, if only to make damn sure. To Asuka, it seemed as if they've been walking for days, when in reality barely three hours have passed since they first were dropped in. Time has a way of getting lost amongst the fear and darkness.

"I think Nerv is just playing some joke on us. It'd be just like your father to put us through some kind of mental strain test," he wasn't about to argue that opinion, "Even if you're right, how do you propose we get out? Something tells me that if we are playing a game, we're not going the right way. Not enough action."

"Yeah, I was thinking the same thing actually, but think about it – this is really the only way to go. All those forks in the road eventually wind around to meet each other; it's just a matter of which one is faster. That's how I found you after we got separated. So we must be going the right way," his logic didn't ease her mind in the least. As he spoke, the entered a large room with what appeared to be a train station on the far side of it, "See?"

"See what? Great, it's a train. I'll bet you anything it's filled with monsters, and even if we can get it running, it'll only take us to a more difficult part of the game," she was clearly starting to believe Shinji's idea, "Or wherever we are."

"Doesn't seem like we have much choice," he began walking toward the train as Asuka followed with a sigh. For once, it turns out the redhead was completely correct – roughly five men, of course in the monster form, were waiting for them when they opened the doors. Shinji made quick work of them as Asuka jumped and set of her gun, luckily hitting one of them. As soon as Shinji pressed the large, blood-covered button inside the train, the entire world once again went black and the two started floating.

"_Danken Gott_!" completely overlooking the fact that they were both once again nude, Asuka screamed in joy, "Now get us out of here, damn it!" either she didn't realize her current state of bareness or didn't care, because she didn't try in the least to cover anything. Shinji didn't mind.

A/N – There you go, chapter one of my new story. How do you all like the direction this is going? Personally, I enjoyed writing it. Just as a quick list of games I'll be doing (probably) in the future; Ratchet and Clank, Mirror's Edge, Black Ops, Devil May Cry, and Rock Band. Feel free to suggest a different game or vote on what I listed off! I'll only do games that I've played, and I've never owned an Xbox, so don't even bother suggesting a game exclusive to that. Outside of that, I have a gaming PC, and both PS2 and PS3. Thanks for reading, I'll see you next time, and keep on keepin' on!

Summary: In Dead Space, you and a crew go to investigate the mining ship Ishimura after it fell silent on a distant planet. Mere minutes after you and your crew enter the ship, all but you and two others are killed by horrifying, humanoid monsters. Now you must fight your way through the onslaught of horror in order to survive, and possibly save mankind.


	2. Devil May Cry

Chapter 2: Devil May Cry

"Well Einstein, any clues on what to do now?" modesty has left the young girl – two hours of floating does that to a person. She no longer tried to cover herself, but made damn sure he wasn't trying to look by keeping an eye on him, ensuring he doesn't turn around. This, of course, gave her an opportunity for a show of her own.

"You know just as much as I do. I guess we wait," neither wanted to admit it, but by now, they've both accepted that something went horribly wrong with the new equipment, placing them in Kensuke's computer somehow. Sarcastically, Asuka claps her hand in applause of his lack of effort. Only two claps pass before they're once again dropped onto solid floor.

"Not again…" the girl quickly stands up and takes in her surroundings. The first thing she noticed was that she was no longer naked – though only barely, "Well, this is trampy," he gazed down at her torso, only barely being covered by a black corset with a lightning bolt going straight down the middle, showing off just a small amount of cleavage. Three inches of flesh separated the end of the corset and the beginning of black leather pants, all topped off with high heel boots. She made a mental note that her chest looked a hell of a lot better in a corset. '_I'm so buying one of these…_'

"Who dresses like this?" she looked over at Shinji and had to restrain herself from laughing at the pathetic wardrobe he was offered. A large, red trench coat rested on his shoulders, with no under shirt – only what appeared to be a gun holster shot across his chest. A pair of military style brown pants and boots topped off the 'ensemble'. Two things surprised her, though; his physique, for one. Either the game added muscles, or he is way more fit than she though. Two, his hair turned completely white, almost silver. '_Thank God my hair is the same…_'

"Oh! I know this game! It's… um… Something Something Cry. I can't remember, but Kaji used to play it when I was younger. You're Dante, and if I remember correctly, I'm Trish. Or something like that, I don't know," she looked down at her hand with a smile that sent a shiver up Shinji's spine, "Think fast!" in a swift motion, she snapped her fingers with an outreached hand, sending bolts of electricity through the air.

"Ah!" though he may have sounded like a child, out of an instinct unguided by him, his hand rose up with a large sword, taking in the brunt of the shock, "Whoa…" now wearing a smile of his own, he looks at the massive sword, "Where did this even come from?"

"Your dead father. In this game, you're Dante, the son of Sparda, who was a legendary knight of Hell. I'm Trish, who was made by Mundus – an evil demon – to look exactly like your mother. So, in essence, we're both demons… though you're only half demon, since your mother was human," to Shinji, it seemed as if she knew just a little too much about this game, even if Kaji did play it. '_Is she a gamer? I wonder…_'

"Great, so you know where to go. Lead the way," Shinji made a mental note that she had an entirely new way to physically hurt him.

"There's been like, five games based on this series. I have no idea which one we're in. Just follow your own logic, Genius. Video games are linear – just keep walking and you're bound to run into something. You're the strong one here, you take point," Shinji questioned how she could wield lightning, he had a giant sword, and yet _he_ was the strong one. Something screamed shenanigans to him.

"Fine, but you better have my back," he walked across the Devil May Cry building and, in good fashion, slowly opened the door only to have it crash down in front of him, "Jesus!"

"Oh, yeah, it always does that. I don't even think this thing has hinges. People are always just kicking it down or riding in with a motorcycle," seeming to come up from the dirt in the cobblestone road, what looked like Grim Reapers holding comically large scythes rose up, forcing another scream from Shinji, "And those are Hell Prides. Bye, bye!" with a simple snap of her finger, all three Prides burst into dust, "You really gotta loosen up Ikari, these are the weakest enemies in the game. Just wait until Vergil comes around, he'll freaking _kill_ you," with a strutting walk, she moved right past him, snapping her fingers at anything that moved – including birds.

"Who's Vergil?" to that, she only laughed, "It wasn't a joke…" reluctantly, he followed her as he held a shaking sword in his hands, "All you have to do is snap. I have to lug around a massive sword that I don't even know how to use."

"Actually, you're ten times what I am. You have two guns with ammo that never runs out, insane acrobatic skills, not to mention Devil Trigger," he noticed the guns on his belt, but the latter two were completely foreign to him, "But you'll just have to learn them on your own. I can't really tell you how to do it unless you have an L1 button on you somewhere."

"So what you're saying is that I can do all of this stuff, but I can barely pick up a sword. That makes a lot of sense," once again acting on instinct, he thrust the sword behind him the instant he felt a breath on his neck.

"There you go! Now just do that on purpose and we'll be fine," the Hell Pride melted behind him, only furthering his freak-out-meter, "Get ready, here comes Hell Vanguard," only flashes of black smoke caught his eye in the distance as something randomly teleported, though getting ever closer to them, "You go high, I'll go low."

"High?"

"You're so stupid! Aim for the head! I'll get it from below, and you get it from above. Is it really that hard to understand? Honestly!" through all her yelling, the Vanguard managed to teleport behind the raging German without her noticing, "And another thing," the high-pitched yelp she's learning to embrace escaped her throat as she felt a strong gust of wind behind her. Ready for a fight, she whips around only to see an extremely handsome man in a blue leather coat with swept back, silver hair. For a moment, she was taken aback by his looks. But only for a moment, "Shinji! That's him! Kill him! I'll leave you two brothers be," knowing the extent of power this game offered her, she ran past Shinji and back into the building. The bathroom would make a fine hiding spot.

"It's been a while, hasn't it, brother?" Shinji frantically waved both hands in the air, dropping the sword on the ground.

"No! You're mistaken! This is just one big accident! Listen, why don't-" while Shinji certainly did react to Vergil lunging at him at blind speed, he definitely wasn't aware of it. Just as quickly as his 'brother' came at him, Shinji picked up Rebellion and blocked the sword's attack, sending a shower of sparks in the air as the two legendary blades met, "Whoa!"

"So I thought," just as fast as before, Vergil back stepped to his original position and stylishly sheathed his sword with closed, confident eyes, "Dante, I come to you with a proposition. In return for a favor, I will ensure that we meet again and finish what was started years ago. Decline, and I'll send this world to Hell without a second thought. Do you accept?"

"Depends on the favor," at this point, Shinji was just playing along.

"My son, Nero, is to be born at midnight tonight. Because of our blood, several high ranking demons wish to see him, along with my wife, dead. All I ask of you is to keep him safe. My matters lie elsewhere, as you can see," Vergil motions to the massive tower in the distance.

"Hey Asuka! He's having a son! Is that bad?" without breaking eye contact with Vergil, Shinji yells to 'Trish'.

"No, he turns out to be a good guy. And a cute one, too," though it was clearly safe outside, she still refused to exit the bathroom, "Tell him we want Yamato as collateral!"

"Try and take it," using his thumb, the son of Sparda in blue pushed Yamato from the sheath just enough to show blade, "I'm growing impatient. Do you accept?"

"Fine, fine, we accept. Where's your wife?" for no more than half a second, Vergil disappears and reappears in his exact same position and pose, though now with an extremely pregnant woman standing by his side.

"If anything happens to her or Nero, I promise your death will be a slow one," and with that, the man in blue vanished, leaving his wife alone. To Shinji's surprised, she looked shockingly similar to Vergil – almost enough to be his sister – with white hair and all. Without a word and a hand on her stomach, she walked past Shinji and sat in the building.

"Great, now I have to protect a baby _and_ myself. This is just so not going to go well, I know it," hanging his head and whining, the now-half demon followed her inside just as Asuka was exiting the bathroom.

"So, this is going to be the famous Nero, huh? You know, he turns out to be quite the charmer. Just stay out of the way lady, we'll protect you," Shinji couldn't help but remember how she ran off at the mere sight of Vergil, "I hope you learn to use your powers real quick Shinji, because your bother didn't seem to be joking."

"He's not my brother, and you know that. This isn't even real," with a smirk, she snapped her fingers, sending a small shock onto his right eyebrow.

"You felt that? Then yeah, it's real enough. Now be careful, he said high ranking demons were coming. And it's only six at night, so we have awhile before the brat's born. Better get comfortable," just as Asuka put her hands behind her head and began walking to the loveseat across the room, what sounded like a flock of bats roaming just over head echoed through the silent streets, "Great…" annoyed she falls back onto the chair.

"What? What is it?" by this point, Shinji's already seen enough to be terrified of every little shadow that doesn't look quite right, let alone thousands of bats. Asuka motions her head towards the door, and Shinji quickly realizes a woman – a notably half naked woman – standing in the doorway. Nothing exactly obscene could be seen, due to her long, straight, red hair covering the gist of her bosom, and from her waist down was covered in flying bats and a black aura as if it was a dress. Certainly a sight for the young man, but not something he didn't fear.

"I heard Sparda's passing on his line, is this right? If his grandson is half as handsome as that devil then I'd be happy," she floated over to Shinji and placed a finger on his chin, bringing him just close enough to where he could feel the utter coldness of her body, "And you, I presume, are one of his sons. You're no Sparda, but you're definitely above that scum Vergil."

"They're twins you twit," Asuka yells from the other side of the room, still in her relaxed position, "Shinji, kill her, you get an awesome weapon."

"You wouldn't want to hurt me, would you?" she leans in as if to kiss him, but keeps on traveling past his lips and to his neck. The instant Shinji felt a single lip on his skin, a massive sword flew up between her face and his flesh.

"Asuka, telling me how to use that Devil Gun thing would be great right about now," and with that, the sword flew down, creating no more than a paper cut sized wound on Nevan's stomach as she leaped back.

"For one, it's called Devil Trigger," a stream of bats and black aura flew out of Nevan's hand towards Shinji, "And two, I told you, I don't know how. You basically release your devil blood… so release, already," he flew to the side, avoiding all bats, "Don't forget, you have guns. See all those bats flying around her? You need to either shoot or slash them all," he lunged at Nevan with a sword held high in the air, bringing it down as if a child would on a strong-hammer game. Nevan, not about to be done in by some kid, simply holds up a hand and catches the sword, licking the side of it with a smile.

"Feel free to jump in and help any time!" Asuka simply casually looked at her nails, as if they're somehow more important than a devil woman, "Asuka!"

"Fine, quit your whining," without looking, she snapped her fingers and dismembered every bat surrounding Nevan, making her jump back with a scream, "There, now have at her," displaying all the coordination of a Muppet, Shinji blindly swung at the woman as she lazily dodged each and every swipe he made at her.

"_This_ is the great Dante? Sparda's blood has been spoiled over the years."

"For the love of Christ," just getting annoyed with the naked woman in the room, Asuka finally stands up and decides to finish this as quickly as possible. Lightning is a damn hard thing to dodge, "Was that really hard? You're supposed to be the successor to the strongest devil ever!" Nevan lied on the floor, letting out the random twitch every few seconds, "Pathetic. Now, turn into that guitar thing, I want it," with a shaking finger, Nevan pointed to Shinji.

"Only he can wield the weapon, and a guitar is only an option if he can play it. I give my defeater the instrument they're most talented in."

"Most talented…" Asuka scratched her head for a moment before going wide eyed, "No, wait!"

"Hey… that's pretty cool," where the vampire beauty once laid now resides a cello of masterful artwork, of the devil kind of course. Jet black was the body, with dark purple trim surrounding it. The same aura that covered Nevan now surrounded the body of the cello.

"No it's not! What are you gonna do? Serenade devils to death? That's stupid!" with a slammed foot, Asuka put a hole through the body of the artwork, "You were supposed to be a guitar, damn it! That was the only cool weapon in the whole game, and you go and replace it with a freaking _cello_!" all Shinji could do was stare with a disappointed face as Asuka reduced the instrument to rubble before his eyes.

"That was a little uncalled for, wasn't it?"

"No! This was cute for about five minutes, but now I'm just annoyed! Do they seriously not realize what happened? Hell, even _you_ figured it out!" Shinji kept his mouth shut, but thought, '_I figured it out long before you did!_'

"I'm sure they're working on getting us out right now. Relax and try to have fun until that happens," he might as well have called her a whore – the look she gave him would have been the same, "Well yelling isn't going to help anything."

"Whatever," she threw her arms into the air as she began to leave the building, "I'm going to keep an eye out for any other devils, I'll tell you if I see any. Don't talk to me," with that final snap, she went out of Shinji's line of sight.

"Why do you allow her to treat you in such a demeaning manner?" the pregnant woman on the chair finally spoke up through all of the commotion, "No one deserves that lack of respect," Shinji was a little taken back by the sheer beauty of this woman's voice. She wasn't particularly attractive, but certainly not ugly by anyone's standards. She was somewhat like a white dove; nothing amazing to look at, but the way her body worked together simply defined elegance. Her voice, though… regardless of the fact that she was speaking, it was as if he was listening to a highly trained vocalist. There was no doubt in his mind that she had a wonderful singing voice.

"Asuka has her way of showing she cares. Trust me, behind all that hatred and physical abuse, she's not that bad of a person," his joke made her smile ever so slightly, "And she's just a little freaked out at the whole situation," surprising him, she didn't ask what situation he was talking about.

"She does care for you, though. She's built walls all her life to protect herself, but you two spend far too much time together for you not to grow on her. I know you care for her, too," Shinji raised an eyebrow at her, "You're far from the only half-devil, hun. Not all devils have powers of destruction, just most of them. Devils like me are able to tune into the thoughts of humans. More powerful ones can actually read thoughts – me, on the other hand… I just read emotions, you could say."

"Interesting… so will your son have that?"

"Depends. Vergil is half demon himself, so there's a fifty-fifty chance our son could be just as human as the next person, or more of a devil than you. Chances are, though, that he'll have somewhat a mix of humanity and devil in his blood. The angry and violent devils tend to have stronger genes than devils like me, so he will likely take after Vergil," she went on to continue speaking, only to be cut off by Asuka running in the house.

"Shinji, I'm not dealing with this guy. He's annoying," strolling in right behind her was the caricature of a typical court jester.

"So this is where you've been hiding! I must say, you're quite the elusive one, bride of Vergil. Now be a good girl and just hold still," in his first act of bravery that didn't come out of pure instinct, Shinji held the large sword in front of him and glared at the clown, "Yo ho! I don't believe we've met before! Nice to meet you, young one," he bowed in a comical stance, "The name is Jester. I have no gripe with you, Devil Boy," in a speed much slower than Vergil's but still impressive to Shinji, he dashed behind him and placed both hands on his shoulders, "Just stay out of the way, will you?" finally using the firearms, Shinji pulls out Ebony and holds it under Jester's nose.

"Feel free to leave any time. Unless you fancy nose piercings," Asuka couldn't help but enjoy his show of masculinity for once, "I'm in no mood to fight, but I will if I have to."

"I'm not here to fight, don't you worry your pretty little head. What I am here to do, however, is to help a poor little wannabe devil out of this hell," Jester flicked the jet black gun, making a flag pop out with the word 'BANG!' on it, "You see, I know your secret. You and little Miss Thang over there don't belong here, do you?" Jester finally got their attention, and Shinji lowered both weapons, "Good boy."

"How do you know that about us?" Jester let out a wicked laugh as he jumped and clapped his hands.

"I knew it! I can smell false devil blood from a mile away! Let me help you out of here so I can get back to work," continuing the laugh that was beginning to get on the trio's nerves. With two simple claps, Jester summoned two black portals bearing a blue aura, and the two humans were quickly sucked in, landing hard on an unfamiliar room. They were both out of the gear presented to them from the game, leaving them, once again, nude.

"Again? Damn it!" the room they were in appeared to be a large office with the walls completely lined with file cabinets. A single desk and computer sat in the middle of the large room, but Shinji was completely oblivious to this. There were much better things to be looking at than cabinets.

A/N – Great suggestions guys! As per the request of Sperance and 1337, Assassin's Creed and Resident Evil are on the list. Chances are I'll be doing Resident Evil 4 next time, but I haven't quite decided yet. I'll just have to brainstorm a bit to come up with ideas. Keep the suggestions coming! I'm not too good at recalling all the games I've played, so you guys help out a lot. And by the way, I haven't done it yet, but there will be games I cover that weren't ported to the PC… doesn't matter. They're in the future – they probably have a decently working emulator! Thanks for reading this far, keep on keepin' on!


	3. Resident Evil 4

Chapter 3: Resident Evil 4

"I guess this is his hard drive," Asuka casually slipped through files as she spoke. She no longer had to worry about Shinji peeking at her – him sitting, facing the wall across the room made sure of that, "Every other file is porn. He's disgusting…"

"It's Kensuke, what do you expect? I bet if you held a black light over his keyboard you could see it from space," the thought made her cringe, "Why are you even going through them? You don't want to stir something else up, do you?"

"It's better than just sitting around doing nothing. With any luck, we can go into an easy game for once. Maybe one that's more realistic than zombies in space or devils on earth," Shinji didn't have anything particular to add. To him, there's nothing really to say at this point – sure, the games are fun, but he's beginning to worry that they might be in here forever. It's been roughly a full day now and so far there's not a single sign of them getting out, "By the way, I heard you and that pregnant devil talking. It's a game, remember that. She was reading the emotions of Trish and Dante, not you and I. Don't go getting any funny ideas," she spoke with a sternness that made him believe every word.

"I know," about another minute passed in silence before the room filled with the sound of an engine starting, making both of the children jump.

"What's that? What did you do?" he leaped up and looked around frantically, trying to pinpoint the location of the noise.

"I didn't do anything!" slowly but surely, a large, pixelated ball of black and green came down through the ceiling. Not a single feature on it was distinctive outside of a single pixel that had a large K on it.

"Oh hell… we need to get out of here! That's his anti-virus!" the logo was familiar to her – she, too, used Kaspersky on her laptop at home. She also knew how effective it was, "We need to get into a game _now_!" she frantically sorted through the various files of Word documents and porn until she came across a game, represented by a RE4 printed on a piece of paper, she vaguely remembered playing when she was much, much younger, "Damn it… this'll have to do. Get over here!" Shinji wasn't about to question how she knew all of this. Without a word and a quick glance at her, the two grabbed the piece of paper as the room went black for a moment before slowly loading the area.

"Not too bad," Shinji looked down at his wardrobe and was pleasantly surprised it was something normal this time around. A simple, light brown jacket rested on his shoulders, and underneath that was a gun holster topping off a ski-tight shirt. Heavy-duty pants protected his legs from the fairly cold air, and he could feel a single pistol underneath his right arm in the holster, "Hey Asuka, where are we?" he looked around to find himself in a wooded area with a small village in the distance. Notably, Asuka was completely absent.

"Well, isn't this just fine and dandy?" Asuka, not nearly as fortunate at Shinji, found herself tied up high on a large wooden log as roughly fifty people wandered around her, going about their business as if nothing was out of the ordinary, "Shinji gets to be Leon, and I'm stuck in this girl's body. Great, just great," the orange turtleneck and short skirt seemed like somewhat of a contradiction to her, but that was the least of her worries, "That idiot better be coming here. I'll be damned if I don't even get a chance to fight."

"I don't get this game…" Shinji spent roughly five minutes trying to figure out what to do – there were two paths; one behind him, and one in front of him. Of course, he followed the path leading to the village, but not before coming across a fairly large house he decided to pass up, "Every time I aim my gun, I can't seem to walk. What kind of sense does that make? Who can't walk and aim a gun at the same time?" he also found that when he so much as touched the knife on his belt, his feet completely froze. To Shinji, this was an unsettling thought; not being able to run away at a moment's notice? No thank you. When he passed through the main gate leading to the village, he had the sudden urge to look through a pair of binoculars he had no idea he possessed. In the middle of the village was a large tree trunk, held up by a mountain of smaller foliage debris and ash. More importantly, though, Asuka was struck up on said log.

"Ain't no mountain high enough," in an act created solely to annoy the people in the village, she sung at the top of her lungs, "Ain't no river wide enough!"

"It takes lessons to get that bad," Shinji mumbled as he put away the binoculars, "Guess I have to save her," he aims down the sight of his gun as he begins to walk, only to find his feet firmly planted on the ground, "I'm never going to get used to that," bringing his gun back up, he jogs into the city and soon realizes not a single person was giving him so much as a second glance.

"Shinji! Get me down from here!" she finally notices him as he begins running to the massive tree trunk, "Seriously, this is a creepy game. You better be a good shot, because I can't do crap but yell 'Leon!' in this body," he didn't quite understand the reference, but he's realized that questions are better left unanswered at this point. Within a few minutes of whacking at the rope with his knife, Asuka came falling down onto the rubble of ash, "Okay, follow me," as Shinji ran after the girl, he noticed that the once-inattentive village people were now looking at him with glaring red eyes and almost growling.

"_¡Os voy a romper a pedazos!_" one of the men finally yells as the duo break into a two story house.

"Crap, crap, crap, crap," with each step up stairs, Asuka mutters a small curse to herself, "I can't grab it, but there's a shotgun in this cabinet," the constant yelling outside continues as they speak amongst themselves in Spanish. Following her orders, Shinji grabs the large gun and follows her back down stairs, "This is going to be a long fight, so conserve ammo. Headshots only, understand? Save the shotgun for now, just use the pistol. If you start getting surrounded, you have a few incendiary grenades," she leads him down the stairs and makes a B line to the small, one way area behind the stairs. Shinji noticed just how well she knew this game – even more than the last. This location was quite ideal for the two, that's for sure; no more than two or three people could pass through at a time, which would keep them from hoarding on him.

"I didn't know you played games, Asuka."

"You want to talk about this _now_? Yes, I used to back in Germany. Things get boring up there. Care to read a novel on my life?" the windows smash inwards, showing several arms reaching in grabbing at the air, "Or would you prefer to actually make yourself useful?"

"Don't need to get snippy," she heard his mumble, but decided to ignore it for now. The possessed people clawing through the woodwork were much more important, at least in her mind. To her surprise, he wasn't a bad shot in the least – sure, he had the laser to guide his shots, but the laser barely moved when he was aiming. It was no doubt the game's engine helping him aim, because when he went to reload, his hands were shaking more than anything she'd ever seen. Not surprising Asuka in the least but making Shinji yelp, the sound of a not-too-distant chainsaw revving to life could be heard.

"Okay, the chainsaw guy is really powerful. If he gets close, he instantly kills you, so watch out. He also has a lot of health, so try and use the shotgun on his head."

It surprised Asuka a great deal just how skilled Shinji was in this whole scenario. Judging by the other games, she reasoned that in each game, they adopt the reflexes and skills of the players they're imitating, which isn't what surprised her. No, what came as a shock was just how relaxed he was with everything. Throughout all three games so far, he's been completely fine. Sure, he freaked out a little in the last one, but he still managed to keep his cool and fend off some of the strongest devils from hell. Relaxation has nothing to do with the character they're playing, she reasoned, so it must just be him. The idea of Shinji being brave was a completely foreign concept to her – Asuka's used to this scrawny, jumpy little boy who can barely take on a strong willed person let alone a forty-story-tall angel. But in here, he's somehow different… or, she thought, maybe he's just different with her.

"You hear that?" the sound of church bells fill the air, and Asuka finally releases a sigh of relief as all the would be attackers turned one hundred eighty degrees and left them, "What's happening?"

"They're in a cult, don't worry about it. Well, they're gone now, and we have two options. The first one is we just wait here for the game to kick us out like it has in the past, or we can actually go through the game and hope we find a way out before we die. You're the leader, you choose," Shinji raised an eyebrow at the girl. A complete conversation without as much as an insult? Blasphemy in their relationship, as far as he's concerned.

"We might as well keep going. If you remember, we get kicked out when we trigger something, and sitting around here isn't going to help," and so began the fairly long walk that would soon lead them to yet another onslaught of possessed village people. Before that, however, there was roughly a mile of land to cover before reaching the destination. This, of course, leaves quite a bit of open room for talking.

"So, you with Wondergirl yet?" she spoke up at they began passing the church.

"What? No, what made you get that idea?" she placed her hands behind her head as she strolled along.

"I see how you look at her. Perv," while it certainly was true that Shinji spent a fair amount of time gazing at the albino, it was far from a sexual experience, "You ever going to ask her out? People at school are starting to talk, you know."

"No, I'm not. She's a friend, that's it," the girl let out a sarcastic 'mhm' as they continued to walk, "And what about you? You seem like the type to always have a boyfriend."

"You saying I'm easy?" the harshness of her voice could cut diamonds.

"N-No! I'm just wondering. You've been here a couple months and I don't even see you talking to other guys outside of me," she snorted at his comment, but took it for face value. '_No point in reading into the psyche of someone as stupid as him._'

"Because I'm already taken. I have a boyfriend in Germany waiting for me to get back. We've been dating for about two years now. It was just a harmless little crush at first, but hey, we've lasted this long," the thought of a guy being able to handle her temperament made him shudder, "You'd be surprised what you don't know about me, Third."

"Well then tell me, I'd be happy to know more about you," the sincerity of his pseudo-demand surprised her, but she managed to hold it back.

"You already know the gist of my life. Graduated college last year, lived with Nerv all my life, blah, blah, blah. Pretty boring stuff. Neither one of my parents were really in my life much – my father because he was a sperm donor, and my mother because she's selfish. I was raised by Kaji pretty much. Near the end of my time there, though, Kaji was traveling so much that I would spend weeks on end at Paul's house – oh, Paul is my boyfriend. He's in the military, so he's had his own place since he was about twelve," she noticed the look of confusion on Shinji's face, though she only looked towards the horizon in front of her, "German military takes recruits as early as ten. He was an orphan, and since he was skilled at piloting planes so young, they just gave him a house. Well, apartment, but still. They don't use the children until they turn sixteen, but the kids who have been in the military since ten are regarded as some of the best Germany has to offer. He's already a better pilot than most… at least, on paper. He's only done simulations so far, they won't let people pilot until they turn eighteen. So he has two years to wait."

"That's pretty impressive. So you guys met through the military I'm guessing?"

"Yeah, Nerv in Germany is connected to the military base. I plan on moving in with him when I get back," Shinji noticed a very small smile on her face that he would have missed if he hadn't been looking directly at her.

"You love him?" that small smile grew ever so slightly larger.

"Absolutely. People are constantly telling me how young I am and all this other bull crap, but I don't care. I know how I feel about him, and I'd do anything for him. He's the only real reason I pilot – if it wasn't for him, I'd be doing it just for fun like I used to. I pity people who don't have someone like him," seeing such a vulnerable side to the girl he's grown to see as a rock was a little unsettling to the boy.

"Wow, I had no idea. So then are you going to marry him?" to his surprise, she let out a small laugh.

"That's kind of what you do when you love someone, so yes. We already had a mach wedding right before I left. No rings or anything, just vows and a short honeymoon," he noticed a small blush cross her face, "Take that for what you will," an awkwardness only felt by Shinji hovered over the two while Asuka was lost in her dream world of herself and Paul. '_I can't believe she told me all of that… and she loves someone! Who would have thought that? Sure, she clearly has emotions, but who knew she was even capable of loving someone like that?_' "And what about you? All I know is that your dear old daddy is the commander."

"I'm the same as you, I never really knew either of my parents. My mother died a long time ago – I don't even remember her – and my father left soon after. I've been living with my uncle since then… well, of course, before I came here. There's really nothing to tell, at least nothing exciting like you had. So… what do you want to know?" she let out an annoyed sigh.

"Jeez, no wonder you want to pilot so badly, your life must have really sucked before this. Hell, I bet you love this whole game thing, aren't you? It's a break away from the normal, no?" as she expected, he didn't respond, "No harm in having some fun. Sure, this is annoying and I'd rather be home, but it's better than sitting in an entry plug all day. We might as well make the best of it," they soon came to a large gate, and the peaks of the sides of a canyon could be seen over the large stone wall, "Ah, here we are. Okay, be careful, because there's a lot of-" a swift bash to the back of the head tends to stop people halfway through a sentence.

Shinji was the first to wake up, and the first to feel a throbbing headache that now nearly crippled him. With a soft grunt, he looks around what appeared to be a church at first glance and, upon trying to stand up, he realized he was tied and facing away from a still unconscious Asuka. Their hands were bound together as they sat, and if she had been awake, they could have easily stood up. However, no such luck.

"Asuka, wake up," whispering for no apparent reason, the boy tried nudging the girl awake, "Come on, we have to get up," she let out a drawn out groan as she rolled her head to the side.

"What the hell…?" just like Shinji, she tried to stand up only to find it impossible, "Damn, my head…"

"Someone knocked us out and tied us up, I don't know where we are. Does this place look familiar to you?" she rolled her eyes at his overly obvious statement.

"Thanks, Captain Obvious. And no, it doesn't, but I haven't played this game in years. Way to watch out back, by the way," their voices echoed in the largely empty room. While it looked like it could have been a church at one point, that euphoria clearly hasn't been present in some time. A thick layer of dust covered absolutely everything, all of the seats have been randomly pushed aside with time, and the alter was littered with fallen candles and the remnants of what was once a fire, "Damn, they probably injected us with a parasite."

"W-What? Injected?" before she could explain, the sound of two large doors opening could be heard across the room. Walking through them were three men. The first was extremely short – no taller than three and a half feet – and dressed as if he was a prince. The other two men looked exactly alike, though only the cloaks they bore could be seen; each was no shorter than seven feet, only exaggerating the shortness of their leader.

"Ah, I see our guests are awake. Allow me to introduce myself," stopping roughly a yard from the couple, the short man bowed at a perfect ninety degree angle, "My name is Ramon Salazar, the eighth castellan of this lovely fortress. Please excuse the mess, but you understand the hurry we were in," he begins to slowly walk around the two, all the while gazing down at them, "I promise, as soon as Las Plagas take hold, you will be free to go. Until then," he stops in front of Asuka and smirks, "Just try and relax," she noticed him peeking up her skirt, but didn't really see this as the time to get all defensive.

"And how long does that take?" as Shinji spoke, Asuka nudged him in an attempt to get him to silence.

"It really does depend, but do not struggle. It will only make the process… uncomfortable," with a gentle wave, he begins walking out of the building, "I'll see you two very soon," the doors slam shut, and Asuka gives Shinji another hard nudge.

"Just keep your mouth shut! In this game, they don't care if you live or die, but they do care about me. Idiot," the redhead was able to squirm free of the rope fairly easily after only a few minutes of struggling, "They should really learn how to tie a knot," mumbling to herself, she unties Shinji and the two stand up, wringing their still-sore wrists, "Well, I knew where we were going before, but now I have no idea. So, you're the one with the gun, lead the way," stepping to the side, she motions him to the door.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you," a man with a strong Spanish accent filled the room with his seemingly omnipresent voice, "His guards are outside waiting," Shinji looks up to see him sitting on one of the horizontal support beams. How he got up there in the first place was a mystery.

"Ah, Luis, about time you showed up," Luis jumped down and smiled at the girl, looking at her up and down.

"I see the president has-"

"Equipped his daughter with ballistic missiles, yeah, real funny. Listen, any idea where we are? Is this Salazar's castle?" the man raised one of his perfectly trimmed eyebrows.

"How did you… never mind, it doesn't matter. Yes, this is Ramon's fortress, and this is the old church, clearly. By what he was saying, it appears as if you've both been infected with Las Plagas. I suggest you try and find the machine to rid your bodies of the parasite before you become too far infected," he begins to walk away, but not before handing Asuka a bottle of pills, "Those should help fend off the creature. Perhaps we'll meet again," and with that, the Spaniard left through the back door.

"That was just plain creepy," Shinji finally spoke up, though under his breath, "He's at least twenty five, and he was just hitting on a fourteen year old. That's sketchy…"

"Fifteen," with a quick correction, the two make the same path as Luis through the back door. Of course, he was nowhere to be found, and they were now placed on a large walkway on top of a wall, "And just because something is illegal doesn't mean it's wrong. Sure, ten years is a huge difference now, but what if I were thirty? Ten years wouldn't seem like a big deal then."

"I don't care, that's still wrong," she sighed at his stubbornness. While Shinji was supposed to be the one leading, Asuka's nature ended up taking over and she took point – a decision she'd soon regret. Making Shinji jump, she fell back, holding her nose.

"Jesus! What the hell? Ow!" a small amount of blood trickled down her cheek as she stood up, still holding her nose, "What hit me?" she tended to her wound as Shinji poked in the middle of the air. To his surprise, his finger was stopped by some unseen force – as if it was an invisible wall, "So the game cut us off? That's stupid!"

"Well it's only a game, the programmers have to stop coding for environments eventually," in anger, the German kicks the invisible wall as her foot, of course, bounced back every time, "I don't think that's going to help…"

"I don't care! That freaking hurt!" with a final hard kick, what sounded like static filled the air as her foot stuck through the invisible wall, though her ankle was surrounded in pixelated black and green textures. Her anger subsided, and both children looked at her stuck foot, "That… doesn't look good," she grunted as she tried to dislodge her foot, to no avail, "Great. Just great. I broke the game," the static slowly grew louder as she spoke, "And that's really getting annoying!" obscenities were yelled by the girl as the world instantly turned back into the office and the two fell onto the floor five feet below, "They can't put us down gently? Really?" her nosebleed was gone, and so was the aching in both of their heads, but, as usual, their clothes were gone as well. Without a word, Shinji took his place in the corner.

"How long have we been in here?" a single large beep filled the room, drawing the attention of both children. The looked to the center of the room to see a large command prompt, an exact copy of a typical computer one, as letters were slowly traced out.

'Working on getting you out. Hold tight. Love, Misato.'

"It's about time! At least they know we're in here, Jesus!" Asuka, quite literally, jumped for joy.

A/N – As request by Electric Eclectic, Bayonetta is DEFINITELY on the list (frankly, it'll probably be the next one). Also, PSN CptBardiel threw out a few good ideas, so Bad Company II, Grand Theft Auto, and F.E.A.R. are also on the list. Also, I forgot to put a summary for Devil May Cry last chapter, but really, if you don't know anything about DMC, turn in your gamer card right now. Check out the next chapter, and keep on keepin' on!

Summary: I'm sure we've all played at least one RE game before, but in case you missed RE4, it's pretty much the same as RE5. Leon Kennedy is sent to rescue the president's daughter, Ashley Graham, who was kidnapped and taken to an unnamed village in rural Spain. Leon fights to get her back and soon finds Las Plagas in every single one of the inhabitants of the village. Typical Resident Evil goodness follows suit.


	4. Battlefield  Bad Company

Chapter 4: Battlefield Bad Company

A/N – I'll be mixing BBC 1 and 2 in this chapter, so don't get your fan boy underwear in a knot when I skip through the two games. Enjoy!

"A person would think that you'd learn to stop looking at me. Even a rat stops going through the door that electrocutes him after a couple tries," Shinji, once again, sat across the room as he tended to his throbbing cheek. Asuka, same as before, was currently flipping through the occasional document and massive amounts of porn, "You're not too bright, are you?"

"I don't do it on purpose, you don't need to hit me every time," she rolls her eyes silently with a smile, "And I think you should stop messing around. Misato said that they'll be coming to help us soon."

"We've been in here for over a day now, something tells me that their definition of 'working on it' is hooking his computer up to the MAGI and trying to inject us back into our bodies. Something also tells me that their plan will fail. If that anti-virus comes back, we'll have a much bigger problem than video games, so just be a good boy and shut up. I want to do a war game next, you know? Nearly all war games are either set in Vietnam or Germany… I'm hoping to get the latter. It'd be nice to take a visit, even if that visit _is_ during the Nazi Regime," she soon comes across a piece of paper with a large grenade on it, with a smiley face as the pin, "If this isn't a war game, I don't know what is. Come on, let's go," with a sigh and keeping his eyes glued to the floor, Shinji walks over to her and places a hand on the paper.

"So you reckon the rainbow sprinkles are the way forward with the doughnut?" a man with a thick Texas accent broke the silence through the black as the two children opened their eyes to reveal themselves in a desert wearing typical American military outfits. They both had a pistol on their belt; while Asuka had a shotgun in her hands, Shinji held a large silenced sniper rifle.

"Absolutely, cuz then you get the different… um… who are you two?" a man wearing thick, almost comical glasses turns to see the two children.

"They're the new recruits, now shut your mouth Sweets before I shut it for you," a large black man up in front, clearly the leader, turns and yells at the man in a still-whispering voice, "I don't think I've had the pleasure of getting your names yet, but formalities are gonna have to wait. Sweets is the techie, Haggard is the white trash disciple, Marlowe is our overall badass, and I'm Redford. Friends call me Sarg. Mind telling me your names?" Shinji shivered as he saw Asuka smile.

"This is Trottel, and you can call me Asuka. Nice to meet you all," Sweets adjusts his glasses and walks over to Asuka with a curious look on his face.

"Your friend goes by an insult for a name?"

"_Ah, du sprichst Deutsch._ _Das ist gut zu wisst._"

"Actually, I only barely understand it. I was stationed in Germany for a while, but-" Haggard walks over, waving his arms in front of him.

"Oh hell no, I'm not gonna have some neo-Nazi watchin' my back. Sarg, this kid's ten years old, I bet she doesn't even know how to hold a gun," with the same smile, Asuka points the gun at him and cocked it. Returning her smile, Haggard looks down at her and places his finger in the barrel, "I take that back. She's cool with me."

"Will you all get over here?" Sarg continues his half-whisper, half-yell at Haggard and Sweets.

"Did ya drop somethin' Sarg?"

"This is supposed to be a stealth mission, damn it!" Haggard and Asuka exchange a glance before looking back at him and ask 'why?' in unison, "Forget it! Just breach that door!"

"Got it," the two new friends walk by the group as Haggard lugs a grenade, busting a large hole in the door. They both randomly fire into the dust as the sounds of several men yelling echoed, "So, Asuka, that right? Weird name."

"Better than Haggard. Sounds like something a cat coughs up," the three remaining men – and one boy – sigh as they follow the two, "Hey, where are we? The Middle East?" Haggard stops walking and scratches his head as he looks around, as if looking for a sign, "You have no idea, do you?"

"Hey Sarg, what country we in?" Asuka just lets out a small laugh as she empties another slug into a man literally holding a white flag across the room, "Dang girlie, you're ruthless, aren't ya?"

"Nah, I just don't like it when people piss me off. Don't do that and you'll be just fine in my book," with the building cleared out, she puts the shoulder of the gun on the ground and leans on it like a cane as she looks back at the ever-approaching company, "So, Trottel, you like this? It's a hell of a lot more interesting than devils or zombies, isn't it?"

"I-I… guess…" Sweets laughs as he slaps Shinji's back, almost sending him to the floor.

"Relax! War is only hell if you make it. We like to make it fun," Sweets couldn't have possibly put it better.

Asuka may have been in the mood for a shooting game, but she nowhere near expected what came out of this self-proclaimed Bad Company. Beyond just being a run and gunner, she was thrown into a world full of vigilantes – namely, the six of them – who only took orders as vaguely as possible from the higher ups. Neutralize a compound? Sure, not a problem – they didn't say anything about _not_ blowing it up, after all. Haggard was the overall bomb specialist, though the word is used extremely loosely. All of his expertise came from a an extremely lucky life of managing to somehow not blow himself up while learning out in the field. He knew exactly how close he could stand to an active grenade so he could feel the shunt of the blast, yet feel no pain. How he came about this knowledge Asuka will never know, but he was happy to show anyone that was willing to learn. Sarg, Sweets, Trottel, and Marlowe weren't. She was. Asuka has actually grown quite fond of this world – they've spent the longest amount of time in this game beyond any other, but even then they've only been trapped no more than two days. No more of that giant robot bull she's grown up with. No, now she's on the front lines. Hell, she's _more_ than on the front lines; she's in the belly of the beast. Somehow, this felt at home to her.

Shinji, on the other hand… he's a much different story. He's yet to so much as shoot his gun, and it was only roughly an hour ago that Sarg pointed out he didn't even have a magazine in the rifle. It wasn't that he was scared to hurt someone – it's a video game, after all, so anyone he 'kills' is just a bit of data on a hard drive – it was that he was genuinely scared of the gun itself. Beyond not knowing the slightest mechanic of the gun, he knew very well than guns backfire and have kickback. He wasn't exactly the strongest person alive, and while this may be a video game, he certainly can bleed, as Asuka demonstrated by running into a wall in the last game. Plus, even if he somehow wasn't scared, he'd still have no idea how to fire the thing. Luckily, though, there hasn't even been an opportunity for a sniper rifle just yet, so he's been able to hide his short comings fairly easily.

Though she'd never admit it, Asuka has, at least to an onlooker observing the situation, grown quite protective of her male companion. Seeing him as a little puppy of sorts, she always directs him to the nearest safe building or, at the very least, keep enemies from aiming at him. Miraculously, neither one of them had been shot a single time during the span of several gunfights. The day came to an end not too long ago, leaving the company split up into three tents, each tent containing two members. Asuka wasn't about to share a tent with another man she's only known for a couple days, leaving her stuck, as she would put it, with Shinji.

"I think something weird is going on. We never stay in a game this long," he stared up at the peak of the tent as he lay back on the sleeping bag, "Did you do something different?"

"No, but I don't mind it. I like it here, don't you?" he simply shrugged, "This is the first game where I'm not jumping out of my skin every five minutes. Plus, I think the game is actually pretty fun."

"Hey Führer, ya want some jerky?" Haggard 'knocked' at the tent, addressing Asuka by the name he came up with halfway through throwing a grenade.

"Stop calling me that, I'm not a Nazi. I bet you don't even know what that word means," a slight pause came from the silhouette behind the tent fabric.

"So that's a no to the jerky?"  
"That's a no."

"Alright, more for me then. Hey Sweets," he trailed off talking, once again, about the eye patch he found.

"You two seem to have made a bond," staring up at the same point he was, she simply shrugged. Shinji let his head hang to the side to look at her and see something he hasn't witnessed in quite some time – her at rest. Eyes closed, hands behind her head, and breathing extremely slowly. Her usual perfect complexion has been smudged over the past few days with dirt and grime, and her hair, always free and waving, has been put up in a strong knot that holds it up and out of the way; it was essentially in a bun, but the design of the braid couldn't be called something so boring as 'bun', at least in Shinji's mind, "Does Paul know about the whole Eva thing? I know it's supposed to be secret, so…"

"He doesn't have a clue. He… thinks I'm in the marines. He saw me in my plug suit one day, and I had to lie," something about the tone in her voice made him second guess her every word. Something was certainly off, but he couldn't pinpoint it, "I'm still trying to come up with a lie as for why I'm stationed here."

"You're not telling me the whole truth, are you?"

"Not on your life, Third. I'm not an open book," the conversation ended with her rolling on her side. Well, at least, _her _end of the conversation ended. Shinji was far from done.

"It's not always a bad thing to open up, Asuka. You may not think so, but I think we're friends. Sure, not extremely close like some people, but at the very least we have each other's backs. When we're piloting, I trust you to help me when needed, and I hope you have that same trust for me. Even if we absolutely hated each other, that fact alone makes us closer than just two random people on the street," he follows her action and rolls onto his side, facing away from her, "When you're ready to talk, I'm always here to listen," he fell asleep within minutes, leaving her staring her hands, fallen randomly in front of her, for over an hour before finding the courage to finally sleep.

"Hey Sarg, you got a toothbrush I can borrow? I think mine melted," Shinji slowly woke up to the ever-noisy group of men.

"You stay away from my bag Haggard, understand me?"

"Sweets!"

"Not on your life, buddy," rubbing his eyes, he gets out of the sack of compressed feathers some would call a bed and stumbles out of the tent, tripping over Asuka's shotgun along the way, "Oh, morning Trottel. Sleep well?" Sweets was sitting in front of a fire warming up a few cans of beans set atop a grill plate.

"Been better. You?" morning formalities were always despised by the boy, but there's really no getting around them without coming across as a brute.

"Eh, you know, comme ci, comme ça," he wasn't quite sure what that meant, but was more focused on the breakfast in front of him, "Food'll be ready pretty soon. We have a big day today, so you better eat up while you can," that sentence could have been worded ten times better.

"What's the plan for today?" Sarg walks over, stopping right in front of the flames and looking down at a small pad of paper.

"Our demolitions expert is to infiltrate an enemy bunker, plant a bug, along with five pounds of C4 to destroy the communications," he drops the pad of paper into the fire and rubs his eyes with his thumb and index finger, "Problem is that we don't _have_ an expert in anything. Haggard is as close as we got, and he's far from the silent type."

"I resent that very much," Haggard yells from his tent as he changed, "I can be quiet as snow falling on a lake."

"Very poetic, but a lie," Sweets hands Shinji an opened can as he spoke, "It'll have to be you, Sarg. I don't know how to handle C4, and I doubt Trottel here knows a damn thing about it," Sarg continues to rub his eyes in pure annoyance.

"I'll do it," rubbing her eye with the back of her wrist, Asuka walks out of the tent and grabs a can off the fire. She continues walking and eating until she stops in front of the ammo dump, "A guy like Haggard or Sarg will get noticed. I know these kind of soldiers – so long as I dress normal, they'll just think I'm there to pass around like an old bong. Brutes."

"You know how to work C4?" she snuffs at Sarg's question.

"I've been in the military longer than Haggard and Sweets put together. I'm probably more experienced in the stuff than you are," she pulls out a small duffle bag from below the large supply of randomly assorted ammunition. How she knew that was there was a mystery to everyone.

"Wow, girlie knows her way around, doesn't she? All the power to ya," everyone, Shinji aside, went back to eating as she rummaged through the bag. Shinji was left staring at her with wide eyes. After a few moments, he finally stands up and walks over to her, whispering as he spoke.

"Asuka, we don't know what would happen if you were to die in the game. Don't you think this is a little risky?" her eyes were… cold, and it scared him. She stared down at the bag as if it were the face of God, yet she couldn't care less.

"It's a game, I'll just respawn somewhere else if I die. But that's not my plan," she finally pulls out a plain white tank top and a pair of shorts from the bag, "Look and you die," lacking that certain amount of threatening attitude he's used to, she made a final comment before disappearing into the nearest tent to change. Within a minute, she emerged wearing the clothes and untying her hair, letting it all hang to the back as usual.

"Now's really not the time to be experimenting, please," he whispered in a tone that only she could hear, but she completely ignored it.

"One small problem. How do you suggest I get in there in the first place? I can't just walk in and say 'Hey, where is your communications center?' you know," Sarg handed her what looked like a black quarter, and she pocketed it like it was completely normal.

"That's your job to find out. Marlowe, give her the explosives," the silent man stood up, retreated to his tent, and soon came back out with a wallet-sized hunk of cream colored clay. Not quite enough to take out the whole bunker, but enough to cripple it to the outside world. She concealed this between her skin and pants right below her lower back, much like one would holster a gun, "We'll be on standby if you need anything. We can hear through the bug right now, so if things start to go south, say 'Too hot outside'," she crossed her arm and looked up at him with a small smirk, "You have something better?"

"Doesn't matter. So I guess I'm walking there?" the three men started to load up with ammunitions and weapons – all except for Shinji.

"Yeah, it's about three miles west of here. We'll keep an eye on you as you go, but we'll be stationed a few hundred yards out. Trottel, you'll be scoping out with your sniper as she goes," it took him a moment, but he finally spoke up.

"Actually, why don't I go in with her?" this earned odd looks from everyone, including Asuka, "Two heads are better than one. Plus, Marlowe's a better shot than me anyway, I wouldn't be any use to you on a rifle," Sarg threw his hands up in annoyance as the three men started walking away.

"Doesn't matter to me, just get it done. Due west, get going," Asuka let out an aggravated sigh as they began to walk.

"I wanted to go alone, damn it. Why can't you ever mind your own business?" he had no direct response to her question, but he had his own questions.

"Why are you acting like this all of the sudden? You know this is stupid, so why do it?" no response, "You're being childish. Just talk to me!" still nothing, "Was it something I said?" in a quick motion, she whips around and slaps him with more force than she has in the past – back then, she was restraining herself. Haggard, roughly fifty meters away, began laughing like a fool.

A/N – Yeah, so, I wanted to put too much in this game for one chapter, so the next chapter will most likely be half this game, and half a flash game from the internet. Keep those suggestions coming! As per the request of DrTempo, Duke Nukem Forever is on the list. This 'list' I'm talking about is below, for those of you keeping track. It's not in any particular order. Finally, check out my new fic, Rei's Fascination. See you all soon, and keep on keepin' on!

List of future chapters: Duke Nukem Forever, Monster Hunter, Bloodrayne, Assassin's Creed, Grand Theft Auto (probably San Andreas), and I Wanna be the Guy.

List of games I _will not_ be doing: Metal Gear Solid (so stop suggesting it!), any more Resident Evil, any racing game at all, any sports game, and probably no more survivor horror (I've already done two).

Summary of Bad Company: This is your run of the mill FPS with some humor thrown into it. Sarg is, as his name implies, the sergeant of this company and is a serious, long time veteran. He's about the only serious one in the group. Marlowe is slightly serious, but is essentially the hero of the whole company. Think of Marlowe as Superman in Justice League. Haggard is a die-hard Texan with a love for blowing crap up. Finally, Sweets only joined the military for a scholarship, but turned out to love it. Don't worry about the plots in the first and second games, because I won't be dealing with them.


	5. Battlefield Bad Company & Intermission

Chapter 5: Battlefield Bad Company/Intermission

A/N – Okay, so far my altered languages have been correct, but only because I've used German and I'm fluent in it. However, I'll be using Russian a little bit in this chapter, so don't get on my back if it's wrong – I'm using an online translator! Also, I'm going to _try_ and add more humor.

"Did ya see that? Damn Führer!" continuing his obnoxious laugh, he slaps Sweets' back. Down with the two children, there was much, much less laughter going on. They continued walking at the same pace as before, only with Shinji silent and holding his cheek in pain. '_Jeez, I didn't deserve that! I was just trying to help…_'

The walk to the camp progressed painfully slow. Shortly after they began walking, strong gusts coupled with flying sand slowed their progress and gave Shinji's fair skin a slight burn from the constant friction. What was originally supposed to be an hour and a half walk turned into well over three hours, leaving them arriving just as the hottest part of the day began. Asuka kept her cool, but Shinji was panting as if he was a canine. Showing her usual confidence, she knocked at the front door and was soon met with a tall man holding an assault rifle.

"_Кто-то заказал партию?_" the man smiled at Asuka's speaking and stepped aside, letting them in, "I can't believe he understood that. I haven't spoken Russian in years… grammar aside, he apparently got my point," Shinji kept quiet as she led the way. Oddly enough, the man was apparently there to guard the door, as he just let them wander off, "If you see a room full of electronics, tell me. Don't make it look like you're looking for something," her voice was cold and sharp, but she got the point across.

"Yeah," his hand has been removed from cradling his cheek, but a deep red mark still remains. In his mind, he's sure it'll bruise. Making the job much easier than what she anticipated, not only was the room quickly found, but there wasn't a soul in it. They could hear a party going on a few rooms down. Kneeling down, the German looks up under the console to a large computer filled with monitors or radar and radio antennae.

"Watch the door. If they catch us, we're dead," he did as she instructed for the full thirty seconds it took her to place the bug and the C4 out of sight, "Sarg, I'm placing the bug now. We're leaving as soon as possible. If you don't see us in two minutes, come help," she whispered towards the bug and stood up, "Come on, we need to get out of here."

"_И только то, что вы думаете, что вы делаете?_" just as the two turned to leave the room, a large, six and a half foot Russian man glared down at them before spitting out a phrase neither one fully understood. Anyone could tell that, just by his face, he was far from being amused. They stood there silently for a moment before he spoke up again, "_Ну, что?_"

"Say something, Asuka," Shinji nudged her side with his elbow as he whispered.

"Um… _ich denke wir sollten laufen..._" the man raised an eyebrow as Shinji looked at her.

"Asuka, wrong language," she let out a nervous laugh as she closed her eyes, "You said something about running, didn't you?" still laughing, she nodded, and the two were quickly bursting out of the encampment. Predictably, they were pursued by roughly five soldiers, only to have all of them picked off by Marlowe and his, apparently, impressive sniping skills. Screaming and yelling could be heard throughout the bunker as the two ran as quickly as possible – they didn't know if they were still being chased, and neither one was about to slow down to look. That being said, the two ran until their muscles were ready to give out from exhaustion… this took all of ten minutes for them. Piloting an Eva may make you tone, but it certainly doesn't allot for true strength. Asuka looked back as they slowed down to a trot and saw the compound, still very much in tact, a few hundred yards away.

"I think… we're good…" she stops and rests her hands on her knees, panting the whole time. Shinji follows the same action, "Now we just… need to wait."

"Yeah," he falls back and lies facing the searing sky. She follows the action and the two simply laid there for over fifteen minutes, just trying to get their panting and heart rates under control. To Shinji, the sky was… unwelcoming. He couldn't say how, but it was certainly different. There wasn't a cloud to be seen, which is a rarity in coastal regions like Japan – but it's not like he's never seen a cloudless sky. No, there was something much more omnipresent about it. He reasoned that it must have been from the fact that they were in a game.

"I lied, you know," Asuka snapped him out of thought. He looked at her, though she didn't return the favor, "About Paul."

"About the semi-marriage thing?" she broke a small smile.

"No, about everything…" a painful silence followed, "I don't even _know_ a Paul," her smile faded, being replaced by a neutral tone, "Not too sure why I lied. It just kind of came out. The truth is I've never so much as been on a full date."

"It doesn't matter, why should you care about that?" still without looking at him, she shot an annoyed face to the sky.

"I don't. When did I say I cared?" her searing comment shut him up, "Actually, you know what? I _do_ know why I lied. I like to call it mental gymnastics. Nothing has been 'normal' in my life. I told you my mother wasn't in the picture, and that's because I watched her hang herself. I lived with Kaji from that point on, but he was never home, like I said. I was left to fend for myself since I was five. My entire life was Nerv and school… that's it. No friends, no family, no one to talk to, nothing. So far, I've lived a pretty pathetic life," no emotion could be seen on her face, but there was plenty in her voice, even to Shinji's ears. She was trying to cover up her pain with a nonchalant tone, and was failing horribly. She knew that, "It's pretty sad when the only thing you have to look forward to is being crammed in an entry plug all day, isn't it?" she let out a weak smile, and Shinji simply stayed silent.

"There she is! There's the little badass!" Haggard's always comical voice rings through the air as the four men approached the children.

"Not too bad Asuka. Good job," Asuka hadn't really ever spoken to Marlowe – he's more the strong, silent type. Or maybe he's had just one too many shockwaves to the head, she wasn't sure. Asuka quickly shook off the emotions running through her head and stood up with a smile.

"Yeah, too bad they'll probably comb the place looking for whatever we did," Shinji stands up and notes just how good of an actress she was, "Whatever, right? That's the first place we've visited that didn't get blown up," Haggard smirks slightly, gaining the attention of Sarg.

"Don't you even think about it," Haggard held up what looked like a pen and pressed a small red button on top. Half a second later, the entire side of the bunker flew off, sending a deafening shockwave through the desert, "Damn it Haggard! We needed that intel!"

"Ah whatever, they were gonna find it anyway. Com-" for a moment, neither child was quite sure what happened. Haggard not only cut off half way through the sentence, but all four men completely froze in place, almost like a statue.

"Hello?" Shinji let out a mutter that only he could hear. The girl sighs as she throws her arms in the air.

"The damn game froze! This better not be Nerv screwing around!" she punched straight through Marlowe, her fist going through as if it was nothing but air. '_How can she change moods so quickly?_' Shinji has been perplexed by this girl since the moment he saw her. Predictably, the two were suddenly thrown back into the office of Kensuke's hard drive, though nearly all file drawers were wide open with more than a few random pieces of paper sprawled about.

And so it went. Days came and went just like the games they eventually chose to be a part of. While in the office, they soon learned, sleep was somewhat of an option, as neither one became tired, hungry, or even thirsty for that matter. However, whenever they chose to be part of a game, all the human needs came flooding back to them in waves. Not so much as a word has been typed by Misato beyond that original note, and the two were beginning to think that they were doomed to spend eternity in the damned computer. How long has it been, he wondered? No less than three months, that's for sure… time is a tricky thing when no sun can be seen.

All of this time, though, gave them time to practice some newly found abilities within the office. Just as a computer user is master of his hard drive, they were masters of this world, so long as they accepted it. Shinji was somewhat of a late bloomer, having such mild emotions, but Asuka… Asuka, on the other hand, is defined by her emotional outbursts. Apparently this is just what controls the computer. At first, her controls were somewhat… fickle. Opening a random Word document here, possibly starting up a game there, but nothing really important. In fact, she thought it was all done on chance until one day after a few hours of walking through grass in a Pokémon field.

"Can't they set us down softer?" typically, the two hold their backs after falling roughly three feet.

"At least I can talk now… that's why you liked the game, wasn't it?" she smirks her wicked, sick smile, "At least I wasn't a rat…"

"A rat that had the power of Thor! You'd be wise to mind your place," three months in constant nudity tends to wear on a person's modesty. Neither one tried to cover up all too much, and quite frankly, Shinji's become bored with the sight, so there wasn't all that much to look at. Sure, the Mona Lisa is absolutely beautiful, but after a quarter of a year of staring at it, you begin to look past the beauty and, instead, marvel at the frame. Asuka's frame was… well, he's still looking for it.

"Better than that crap with portals… what was the name of that again?"

"Portal."

"How original," she's begun to rub off on him in terms of attitude. Sure, they may live together, but he has time away from her in the form of sleeping, school, and even showers to wash off the hate. But now, it's Asuka twenty-four/seven. That's enough to drive most men to cutting, "What's next? Or do you want to take a break?"

"I don't care… it seems like the dork has every game known to man on this computer. Why don't you choose one for once?" he scratches his cheek, glancing over at the file cabinets, "Hey, I wonder if we can play music? You think he has any?"

"What, you want some romantic piano background?" he jokingly winked at her, and she responded with a punch to the shoulder as she walked by. Her hits have gotten much softer lately.

"As if. I was just wondering…" she closed her eyes and tried to think of music back in Germany that didn't have to do with techno, Rammstein, or house… she came up blank. Finland usually had pretty nice music, though she'd never admit to being a metal head. In fact, Shinji probably doesn't even know what she-

"She doesn't wanna wait, 'We've gotta make the love complete tonight…', She should not lock the open door," now, Shinji wasn't quite as fluent in English as Asuka was. He tended to slack off in his studies during school, and not being immersed in the language makes it all that more difficult. He knew a few select words, and unfortunately for Asuka, almost all those words were in the song that began to play randomly. He got the gist of it.

"House is better than this crap," with a twitching eyebrow, the song ceased and Asuka was left standing away from Shinji.

"Interesting."

"Hm?" she turned to see him smirking, "What? What are you smiling about now?"

"Have you noticed that whatever mood you're in, the appropriate game plays? Like the other day when you went to yell at me, and we ended up in Street Fighter. Or the other day when you had a nightmare and we ended up fighting off zombies for half an hour," she crossed her arms and raised the same, twitching eyebrow. She knew where this was going, and she wasn't about to go down without a fight.

"_Sterben!_" a strong driving guitar accompanied a male with a deep bass voice as he screamed. Shinji didn't speak a word of German, but he's heard her yell that at him a few times in the past, and he knew it wasn't a good thing. Asuka was a little ashamed that the only German music she could come up with was _that_ of all things, but hey, she got the point across. Nothing like a man with twice as much needed testosterone to get the blood flowing.

"I assume that's bad, no?" she raised both eyebrows and nodded.

"Don't read too much into things, Third. It'll save us both a lot of time," the music ceased just as a few more German phrases were spat out, "Now pick a game already, I'm sick of waiting," with a sigh, he walked to the nearest cabinet and began searching.

"Hey, you ever wonder what happened to Rei?" she didn't reply, and he took it as a ticket to continue, "I mean, she's not in here with us. I saw her get in her entry plug, so where is she?"

"Probably at home nice and comfy in her bed. She gets all the luck," he thumbed through a few games , looking for one that looked familiar or appealing. Mirror's Edge? No, the girl had the body of a twelve year old boy. Borderlands? He wasn't sure what a fire round was, but he knew he had to keep it away from Asuka. Dark Void? Probably a porno, knowing Kensuke.

"Just saying, it doesn't make much sense to me," Spore? He'd rather stay human, thanks.

"Neither does anything else," Leisure Suit Larry? Not a bad idea, but Asuka would kill him, "To you, I mean."

"You're starting to slip," Metal Gear Solid? He played it once and never quite understood the fun in scurrying around in a box for five hours, "Care to try again?"

"You're an idiot," it was said with love, at least in his mind.

"Your idiot," she rolled her eyes and sighed, "How's Mass Effect 2 sound?"

"No thanks. I played that game for a week straight – it's too addicting," the two have formed somewhat of an… unspoken relationship, some would say. It's the source of her tampered temper, and it's the source of his concise confidence. Her halted hitting, his elongated emotions. Her… you get the idea. No lips have been met, no true words have been spoken, but they've been known to share the warmth of each other's hands from time to time. Shinji tried to take it for face value as something that won't last a second out in the real world, and Asuka tries to ignore it all. Of course, she's always the one to initiate the linked fingers, and ignoring one's own limb takes mastery. Mastery she apparently had.

"Ah, here's one. Bayonetta, here we come!"

"Like hell!" too late.

A/N – Ah, here it is. I'm going to try my surest to get some more humor in this… thank Fresh C, an author here on FF. I read some of his stuff and it kick-started my funny bone (to an extent). Highly recommended author, by the way. Regardless, there you have it. I haven't a clue what the next chapter will be, so just… wait around, I don't know. It'll either be Monster Hunter or GTA San Andreas. Keep on keepin' on!


	6. Grant Theft Auto: San Andreas

Chapter 6: Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas

A/N – There will be extensive use of the F, S, N, C, D, A, B, H, and Z words in this chapter. You have been warned. If you've played any GTA game, you know I'd be doing a disservice if I didn't.

"So you're sure about this?" he doubled checked her decision, only to have her look more deeply onto the piece of paper, "There's no going back."

"I know, but… I just have to see, you know? I mean, I wasn't a part of it obviously, but it's in my blood. The least I could do is educate myself more on it," Asuka, as proud as she is of her nationality and blood line, has always been haunted with the past doings of her mother country. In her mind, there wasn't ever really any punishment for the crimes committed – sure, a few people were put to death, but how do you make up for countless millions of people killed?

"I don't think this is a good idea," she scoffed at him.

"Listen, it was Germany's fault all of these horrible things happened. Even putting the Holocaust aside, if it wasn't for us, Japan would have never gone through two atomic bombs. Shinji, there's _still_ kids being born with deformities… I think I owe it to those people to at least know what happened," and it finally clicked with Shinji.

"Asuka… you _do_ know what a ghetto is, right?" she finally looked at him with anger in her eyes.

"Of course I do! I may not know much about the war, but I know the terms they used! Look," she looked back down on the paper and began to read, "It says 'Live the life of a ghetto rat and climb your way to fortune' right on the cover!" he went to object, only to have her mentally start the game before he could say a single word.

Two things must be understood about the children. While they were never particularly raised to be racist – in fact, they were taught in grade school to accept everyone – they had never been around any person that had more melanin than an albino rabbit. Germans aren't exactly known for their dark skin tone, and Japanese… well, that goes without saying. In Asuka's home city of Essen, there was a single black person in the neighborhood. A single black person that never left his home. The second thing to be understood is their culture and their views on emotions… Germans come across rude, simple as that. It's in the way they speak with hard syllables, rumbling uvulas, and close-to-screaming tones that make people of other nationalities scared of them. The fact of the matter is that Asuka is considered mild tempered in her home country. That being said, she always comes across rude, regardless if she intends to or not. The way Shinji was raised – that is, to be seen and not heard – often comes across as not only rude, but arrogant. These are all traits one would do best to avoid when dealing with men who carry weapons.

"Hey CJ! Get yo ass in here already!" the small cul-de-sac initially surprised Shinji, but the surprise went away as he realized his definition of 'ghetto' was far more accurate than Asuka's.

"A black Jew? Who would have thought?" Shinji rubbed his eyes in annoyance as Asuka stared at the man across the street as if he was in a zoo.

"Wrong kind of ghetto, Asuka…"

The two were soon led into the house the initial man was standing in front of. As with all the other games, they took the roles of the central characters, and no one seemed to mind in the least that the two weren't even remotely black. Asuka has yet to say a single word – her presence is made up of crossed arms and a scoff on her face. She still had no idea how the term 'ghetto' wound her up in the projects, or why all these people could speak perfect Japanese, but she found it easier to just not ask questions.

"So listen here CJ, I'm fuckin' sick and tired of our homies runnin' on yay. You and me need ta go out, bust out some of them junkies, and send a message to the rest of the family," a tall, muscular man – apparently Shinji's brother in the game – paced back and forth in front of the two on the sofa.

"I understood, like, every third word you said. A little slower, and a little smarter," Asuka has yet to realize just where they are.

"That damn banger you're runnin' with got you on too high of a pedestal. Rodriguez better learn his place," a third thing should be known about Asuka. She's on her own pedestal, and damn proud of it.

"Rodriguez?"

"Hernandez then, same shit."

"Let me tell you something you low life hood rat," Asuka finally loses it and stands up in front of him, "I earned my pedestal in life. I went through, did what I had to do, and wound up on the top. What have you done? Hm? Shoot a few people because of the color of their shirt? You talk about drug junkies and 'bangers', whatever those are, as if you're above them. You're not above anyone – not even Shinji. You were born a thug, grew up as a thug, and will hopefully die young as a thug. Your mother probably shot herself just to get away from your grammar alone," the man stood there for a moment, completely wide eyed.

"Too far, sis," that was the first time the two had seen someone as large and as black as him cry his eyes out. Needless to say, he ran off into what was apparently his room.

"Wow… impressive… a little harsh, but impressive. But he was our only guide in the game, what now?" he couldn't see her face, which he would later find out to be a positive thing. Asuka enjoyed working in the Bad Company for a simple reason – she doesn't mind putting a chunk of lead in someone. In fact, she enjoys it _far_ too much for even her liking, but that's an entirely different story, "Asuka?" she has now been thrust into a world where not only can she harm people, but harm people that actually deserve it for once.

"Do you know what a vigilante is, Shinji?" she asked in a sweet tone that scared him.

"Like Spiderman?"

"Yes, like Spiderman, freaking dork. What say you and me go and fight crime with crime? Or, as your brother would say, 'Bust a cap in dat ass' so elegantly."

"Don't talk like that, it's freaky," he stood up next to her as she picked up a handgun from the table. He still had no idea where and why she learned to handle all types of weapons, and quite frankly, he could live the rest of his life without knowing. Some things are better left unsaid, "But sure, we might as well. You go ahead though, I'll just follow," he was met with a handgun being thrust into his abdomen as Asuka handed it to him, "Where are you finding all of these?"

"You'll see, you'll see," the two walk outside and stop on the sidewalk, "You know Shinji, muscle memory is a hell of a thing. It's like riding a bike, you just never really forget. It's the reason people can type on the computer, play a piano, and… oh, I don't know, use cheat codes."

"Huh?"

"Circle, Circle, L1, Circle, Circle, Circle, L1, L2, R1, Triangle, Circle, Triangle," a loud beeping sound echoed and a large tank fell from the sky and right in front of the two children. Shinji screamed, Asuka smiled, "Damn straight. Down, X, Right, Left, Right, R1, Right, Down, Up, Triangle," the same beeping sound echoed, but nothing in particular happened.

"Great. You're God now. Just great," Asuka proceeded to hold the gun to his head and pull the trigger. For the briefest of milliseconds, Shinji thought he was dead. No, the reality was that there was no wound, and it felt as if she flicked the side of his head.

"Infinite health! It worked!"

"You weren't sure it was going to work? You're insane! You could have killed me! You don't know what happens if we die in here, Asuka! I can't believe we haven't gotten hurt so far, and you go and _shoot me_?" throughout his yelling, she was struggling to get in the tank.

"Yeah, mind helping me out? You're fine, quit complaining or I'll turn it off and kill you for real," he sighed, realizing there was no negotiating with her, "Good boy. Hey, watch your hands!" pushing someone up onto a tank is quite difficult without groping them. Try it. You'll see, "Come on," it surprised him to see her smiling as she held out her hand, offering to help him up. Usually, she'd tell him to either find a way up or walk… it was a nice change of pace.

"Wow, it's actually roomy in here," little known fact: tanks don't have windows for protection. They don't have windows so the general public can't see the two reclining chairs in it.

"You control the gun, and I'll drive," he saw a familiar, sadistic smile cross her face.

"Asuka, no. Whatever you're about to do, don't."

"Square, down, L2, up, L1, circle, up, X, left," another beeping sound, but once again, nothing happened.

"So you've played this game, but you didn't know what a ghetto was? And you obviously played the game a lot to have these all committed to memory," without a word and still wearing a smile, she began to drive forward. He noted that it seemed to be moving much faster than he thought tanks could travel… much, much faster. The only way to see outside was through a pair of pseudo-binoculars in front of each chair, over the controls. He looked out and almost immediately screamed.

"We're going to Las Venturas, unless you have an objection. We should be there in about two minutes," he held on to the arms of the recliner as if his life depended on it, "You're such a baby!" she looks over at him with a smile, "We're in a tank! What could possibly happen?"

"Keep your eyes on the road!"

"What road?" he was beginning to feel just a little green at the whole situation. Honestly, some people just have problems with flying tanks – it's not his fault, it's just how he was raised. Some would blame his parents, and others would blame the schools, "I forgot the code for weapons, so we have to just go buy some."

"W-With what m-money?" little known fact: Shinji is crippled by fear of heights. You can take that to the bank.

"R1, R2, L1, X, Left, Down, Right, Up, Left, Down, Right, Up," both of their pockets filled with bands wrapping countless hundred dollar bills.

"Forget I asked," the rest of the ride was absolute hell for him. Nothing like Free Bird to get a crazy German to do loops in a tank. Cliché saying, true, but it suits the situation. When the song finally ended, she landed quite gracefully on a road, and Shinji could have sworn he heard a scream.

"Crap, I forgot… um… circle, right, circle, right, left, square, triangle, up," another beeping, "Yes! Okay, cops won't follow us now. We can get out, the gun shop is right here," she grabbed his wrist and led him out of the tank. People were walking right by on the side walk as if nothing was out of the ordinary.

"I hate this game… so much…" roughly half an hour later, Asuka finished her shopping. Just like most women, she insisted on trying everything that had a price on it – in this case, shooting everything that had a price tag on it. In the end, she decided to go simple with a Desert Eagle, rough with a full assault rifle, tactical with tear gas, and just plain scary with a rocket launcher. Shinji decided to go… well, he didn't decide. Asuka thought he'd be better equipped with no more than a knife.

"I think we're ready to go! Thanks again!" smiling ear to ear, she waved at the dealer as they walked out.

"Really? You sure you have enough? Because you could supply a small army. Why not go for broke and just take the shop with you?" he was speaking completely sarcastically, but she turned around outside and stared up at the building as if seriously considering it, "Asuka, _no!_"

"Fine, fine."

"Hey man! Man! You were the ones flying, right? That was out there!" a man wearing a flannel red shirt, jeans, and a headband shuffles over to the two.

"Oh, Truth. Why are you in Venturas?" he stumbled back as if he saw a ghost.

"You know me… you got my transmissions, didn't you? I knew it, man, I just knew it!" Shinji rubbed his eyes not out of annoyance, but out of the overpowering stench of cannabis fluffing off the man, "Come on, you have to tell me about your travels. Follow me, my home isn't far," against his better judgment, the boy went along with Asuka and Truth. '_I think I'm starting to get a contact high…_' Much needed stress relief for the boy.

"This is Zero," the three enter the Truth's home to see a balding man in his early thirties.

"Salutations, comrades," Shinji nudged Asuka at the sight of the man.

"Hey, isn't that David Cross?" by the look on her face, he was sure he wasn't the first to make that connection, "Seriously, we need to actually be _doing_ something. I don't like this game, I want to go back."

"Ignore my friend. He's what we call a pansy. Nice to meet you, Zero. How's the RC shop running?"

"See man? You see that? This girl drove down from space in a fuckin' _tank_! And she knows all about us! Tell us your secret, oh Wise One," making her feel more than just a little awkward, Truth literally bowed down in front of her, "Where did Year Zero come from? What happened to Kennedy? Where can I get stronger dank?"

"Space, nothing, and Nebraska. Now, if you don't mind, we really have to be going," it really was about time he took control of the situation. Shinji grabbed Asuka's wrist and led her out of the house in a huff, "Don't humor them! Just have your fun and let's go, okay?"

"Shinji, it's not just about fun," casually, she shot the nearest pedestrian with the Desert Eagle without even breaking her eye contact with Shinji, "It's about surviving," and another, "Darwinism, you know?" that one was a ten year old, "Well, social Darwinism," that was somebody's grandmother, "Do you see where I'm going with this?" it was that man's own fault. He should have been running by now.

"Are you quite done?" one more loud gunshot at his forehead. Surprisingly, he didn't flinch this time, "That's a no?"

"No, I'm done now. You know, this is an RPG, we can do anything you want in this game. We can go ride dirt bikes in the desert, roll some dice a the casino, get hammered, fight crime, _make_ crime, or even just explore. Why don't you take charge for once?" trying to make a point, she tossed the gun to her side, setting it off and shooting another person a few hundred feet away.

"Fine then – lose the weapons," following his orders, she dropped all of them – not the wisest of moves with the rocket launcher, but luckily for them it didn't go off, "And tell me why you're letting me take charge for once. You usually love these kinds of games."

"Yeah, well, I like it when you try and act all macho. It's kind of cute, in an 'Awww, look at the baby!' sort of way," he completely ignored her insult.

"Can you get us a car? Not a tank, a car. Just a normal, old-fashioned-"

"Right, Up, R1, R1, R1, Down, Triangle, Triangle, X, Circle, L1, L1," and with that, a large monster truck fell in front of them and onto the road.

"That works too, I guess," she smirked at his annoyance as they climbed in – Asuka in the driver's seat, of course. She wasn't about to let him take that much control just yet. Plus, he's scared of heights, and he never said to turn off flying cars.

"Where to, boss?" the two buckled in as she revved the motor.

"Can we just go somewhere relaxing? Like, a forest, or a mountain, or a lake," '_No wonder he's not looking at me anymore. He's gay! I knew it!_'

"Sure thing."

"Hey, Asuka, did you turn off the-" screaming soon commenced, and it was far too late. Luckily for him, the truck was much faster than the tank, and they were sitting atop Mt. Chiliad overlooking what Asuka called San Fierro. The sun was just beginning to set, giving anything even remotely close to the earth a slight pink tinge. Shinji asked for relaxing, he got that and beautiful.

"There, you like?" with a smile, he nodded as he stared out at the sight. It didn't take all too long for the two to migrate to the hood of the car, using the windshield as a recliner as they stared up at the ever-darkening sky, "I'll admit, this was a good idea. I know it's not real, but it's definitely cool," they both had their hands at their sides, and Asuka certainly noticed how every few minutes, he would bring his hand ever so closer to hers.

"I told you. Shooting people isn't always the most fun, you know," she could easily contradict that point of view, "It shouldn't be fun at all."

"It's a video game, no harm comes from it. These people aren't real, just little bits of data on a computer. When one dies, they just respawn a few yards away."

"Well aren't we little bits of data right now?"

"Don't get philosophical on me Ikari, you know what I mean," silence fell over them as she closed her eyes.

'_This is actually really nice. The temperature is perfect, there's not so much as a breeze, and it's absolutely dead quiet. I haven't had time to relax like this since… hell, I don't even remember. He can be romantic when he wants to be, apparently._'

'_A little closer to her… almost there… just a little bit further…'_

"If you want to hold my hand, just do it," he did it without question, and just a tad bit of fear, "I hope you plan on taking me out when we get back. I think you owe me a month's worth of dinners for all you've seen."

"I make you breakfast, lunch, and dinner every day!"

"Yeah, but those aren't dates. That's just you being whipped," he couldn't quite argue with that, but he was far more concerned with the word 'date', "The game's about to end."

"Huh? Why? How do you know?"

"Well lookie here, where ya been Carl? I hope you weren't planning on leaving now," a large, black officer came out from seemingly thin air and began walking towards them.

"Because I'm about to make a paradox in the game," with that, she took Shinji's knife from his belt and hurled it at the officer, landing it in the center of his left eye, "I was getting bored," the room went black, and their decision making started all over again.

A/N – I'm not going to put a summary, because really, the game is one of the best selling platformers of all time. Regardless, there you have it! I had quite a bit of time to write lately – the wife is out of the state, school has been easy on me, and I don't have anything better to do. SO! Here's the deal. I usually don't post them this early, but I'm in a good mood. I have no idea what the next chapter will be, so don't even try and guess. It'll be on the list I wrote out in chapter 4 though. Finally, I have about five to seven more games to do before the story is finished, and I've already chosen all of them, so no need to keep suggesting (sorry!). If you feel an overwhelming need to try, go ahead, I can't stop you. That doesn't mean don't review, though! I seriously have trouble writing FF if I don't have some sort of motivation – 90 percent of the time, I'm neglecting school work when I write! Keep on keepin' on!

A/A/N - Also, does anyone know how to get around the problem of not posting "? !" without the space? Whenever I use it, they end up only using either the question mark or the exclamation point... it's stupid.


	7. Duke Nukem Forever

Chapter 7: Duke Nukem Forever

A/N – Yes, I know this game hasn't come out yet, but there's serious hype surrounding it. If you've never played any old DN games in the past, I _strongly_ suggest you go look up some catch phrases and gameplay of both the new, upcoming game and older, past games on Youtube. If you don't, you won't understand a single joke in here. Enjoy!

"This was a triumph," Shinji sorted through a few files as Asuka sang the song he explicitly said he despised. She was simply laying on her back in the middle of the floor, spitting out the lyrics from memory, "I'm making a note here: Huge success."

"Asuka, that song's creepy, cut it out."

"It's hard to overstate my satisfaction," he just sighs and thanks whatever God is out there she can't possibly remember all the lyrics after hearing them once. She'll forget where she's going eventually, right? "And believe me, I am still alive," he was wrong, "I'm doing science, and I'm still alive," plugging his ears didn't help in the least, "I feel fantastic and I'm still alive," she paused for almost thirty full seconds, and Shinji let out a sigh.

"Thank y-"

"While you're dying I'll be still alive. And when you're dead I will be still alive. Still alive, still alive…"

"Are you quite done?"

"Yeah, the song's over. You didn't think it was catchy? I loved it. I miss her, don't you?" he didn't even have to answer, "Oh come on. Just because she promised you cake and didn't give any, you get all butt hurt about it. Grow up already."

"You don't make someone jump over raw sewage for five hours, promising cake, and then try to incinerate them! I wanted my cake, damn it!" Shinji was a man who enjoyed his cake. This much was true, "She deserved what I did."

"But she's-"

"Don't you dare say it."

"Still alive, still alive, still alive," laugher soon followed from her mouth.

"Fine, you know what? I'm picking the game this time. The most womanizing, bad ass, warmonger to walk the earth since James Bond. Duke Nukem," for once, a game Asuka's never heard of. Shinji found the game not too long ago, but he explicitly remembered playing it with Kensuke at one point. Needless to say, it was quite… entertaining to the viewers of the male variety. He began the game and found himself is quite the odd situation – in a hot tub, holding a controller and staring up at a massive television.

"Not bad," he looks over to see Asuka… well, at least what he assumed to be Asuka. The woman certainly did look Asuka-ish, but she was no younger than eighteen, and the girl's already mature body ended up growing into something all men desired, "This is the first time a game changed how we look," the woman looked down at herself with proud eyes. This was no doubt what she would grow into, and she was certainly happy with it. When she looked over at Shinji, her jaw, quite literally, dropped. He was completely muscle clad and dressed head to toe in military attire. A red tank top, black cargo pants, a military holster that ran up both sides of his chest filled with grenades and ammo, and even fingerless leather gloves. The whole persona was topped off by a buzzed haircut straight out of a movie. She could tell it was Shinji, just some sort of bizarro-world Shinji.

"You look… great," he was just as taken back by her appearance as she was by his. He went to say something romantic, but in the spirit of suspenseful games, he was soon cut off by a deafening crash from across the room, "Guess it's time to work," acting a bit too calm for Asuka's liking, he got out of the tub – where he was in full clothing, dripping wet – and picked up an almost cartoon-esque gun sitting right behind him. Regardless of the fact that it was essentially three miniguns formed in a triangle, he dawned it to his shoulder quite easily.

"Wow…" a large humanoid creature stood in the rubble of the doorway. It was no less than seven feet tall, and had the face of a hog with exaggerated tusks.

"It's time to kick ass and chew bubble gum. And I'm all out of gum," Asuka's stomach sank at the horrible one-liner he spat out, but watching him mow down that monster was… exhilarating in her eyes, to say the least, "I seriously did not mean to say that. It just sort of popped out," '_Aaaaand the old Shinji is back… even with the crappy line, that was still hot._'

"Yeah, whatever," Asuka was clad in no more than a solid black bikini, but it didn't look like that was about to change any time soon, "Lead the way, macho man."

"You got it, sweet cheeks," even his eyes got wide, "I swear, I'm not saying these things! I think the game is making me do it!"

The next half hour consisted of no more than unadulterated violence that mothers do everything in their power to censor their children from. Ripping of jaw bones? He did that. Shotgun shells to the face? Hell yeah. Flamethrower to the nads? He enjoyed that a little too much. Grenades shoved down throats? Of course. Crappy sayings? It wouldn't be Duke Nukem without them, now would it? They were initially just wandering through a post-apocalyptic city for the entire time as Asuka instructed him where to go until they came across a large, organic tunnel leading towards an even larger organic castle. This, typically, came along with a large hoard of various monsters, all of which Shinji quickly and less-than-elegantly dealt with.

"Yippie-kai-yay mother fuckers," Asuka has made it a habit to punch his arm every time he lets a saying slip. She completely believes that he can't help it, but that doesn't it make it any less annoying in her eyes, "I'm sorry! It's like a sneeze, I just can't stop."

"Just keep going. This game was your idea, remember?" she'd never admit it, but so far, this was he favorite game hands down, "So this guy's name is seriously Duke Nukem?" they began to walk down the long passage as he holstered the gun.

"Yeah, don't know why though. All I know is that he fight aliens… or something, I don't know. They were making this game for something like thirteen years before it came out. Misato and Kaji weren't even born when the original games came out, and this is the next one in line. For most people, this is the first they heard of him," he felt smart spitting out the information Kensuke gave him, "But come on, don't tell me this isn't fun. This is exactly your kind of game!"

"It's a mindless shooter! I like tactical shooters. You just walk around and shoot anything that moves in this game while spitting out horrid sayings. And plus, look how I'm _dressed_! It was cute at first, but really? I'm cold, my feet hurt, and the only thing protecting me from a monster is a bikini!"

And so the arguing began… at least, some would call it arguing. Most would just call it Shinji having his ear nagged off for a solution that clearly didn't exist. After the first five minutes, he offered to just carry her on his back – this worked out perfectly fine until another monster came around. Only being able to shoot a pistol with one hand isn't exactly the fastest way to kill something, especially when the shooter has the accuracy of a drunk five year old. Thus, Asuka was back to walking on the gravel-ridden road in bare feet. To her, it seemed as if they've been walking for an eternity, when in reality it was no more than half an hour before they came to a large, circular room that, in her mind, was clearly built for a boss battle.

She was right.

"Hell, I'd still hit it," Asuka rubbed her face in annoyance, "Ew…" the giant monster that was lowered in front of them was clearly a female – at least to the eyes of a human – but the resemblance didn't necessarily go far. Three breasts were present on the 'chest', each one just as crusty, green, and rotten as the last. The face consisted of a massive jaw with countless small fangs shooting out in every direction, two eyes that seemed to be useless due to their completely black nature, and a massive hole in the middle resembling what could be a nose. The arms came up to either side and ended with crab claws.

"I'm sure you would," having no means to be offensive or even defend herself, Asuka reluctantly took her place in the corner as Shinji went about his way, doing what must be done to the woman-monster-thing.

'_What was his point of bringing me into this stupid game? To teach me a lesson? I was just singing! No, even he's not that superficial. Sure, I may have punished him in such a manner, but he's far from like that. It seems like whatever game we play, he's constantly trying to either protect me, motivate me, or just relax with me. Who enters a world of infinite possibility and chooses to sit on the hood of a truck and stare up at the sky? It's stupid! And even if it's stupid, he clearly chose a game that specifically required him to stay away from me, or at the very least put him in situations of combat he hates. The only games we've played that he even mildly enjoyed were the ones that allowed him to sit back and relax! I mean look at him – he couldn't be having more fun right now. Sure, he claims to hate it, but I know damn well he's loving every second of it._'

"Hey Asuka," a large explosion snapped her out of dream land, "I think I'm done," sitting in the middle of the room was still the monster, but in the sense that a computer is still there after taking a hammer to it. Sure, all the pieces are there, but they aren't working so well together anymore.

"That was a little excessive, no?" she stood back up and yawned, "Can we go back yet? I'm bored," the annoyance in her voice was painfully obvious to Shinji, and they both knew the answer to her question.

"We can't go back until the game kicks us out or there's a glitch… I don't know the game well enough, so it's not like I can force it. You're the one with the all-controlling brain, you make it happen," his sarcasm didn't amuse her in the least. With monsters out of sight and a new, seemingly never-ending tunnel now opened up across the room, she took her place on his back as he carried her through the passage.

"But there's no sense crying over every mistake. You just keep on trying 'till you run out of cake. And the science gets done, and you make a neat gun for the people who are still alive," there really was no point in fighting her. Every time he so much as breathed too loudly, she'd lightly punch the top of his head. The truth of the matter was that she didn't love the song that much, but it annoyed and even scared him, and that's all the reasoning she needed, "You're not very assertive. You should work on that," at first, he had no idea what she said. She transitioned so seamlessly from the song into normal speak that he almost missed it.

"Assertive? Every time I try to take charge you hit me!"

"So? Maybe I like it when you take charge. Some girls like that in a guy, you know," this was going way over his head, "Especially me," even someone as thick-headed as Shinji caught that hint, "If you don't like what I'm doing, make me stop. You don't always have to be the victim."

"And how do you suggest I stop you? You're stronger than me – at least in the real world – and threaten me with my life. Literally. Like, you've held a knife up to me before, Asuka. I like my skin the way it is," she visually and audibly rolled her eyes.

"Harmless flirting! Jeez, someone pulls a knife on you and you take it all personal. No wonder you can't get a girl," they both laughed, even though she tried to hold it back as hard as possible, "Come on, you think I'd really hurt you?"

"Absolutely."

"Okay, let me rephrase that – hurt you _badly_. The correct answer to that is a whopping no. You're one of the few people I can stand, even if you _are_ a poorly trained dog," somehow, that pseudo-compliment made him blush.

"So… would you consider us friends?"

"Why wouldn't I? That's a stupid question, seriously," a brief moment of silence between them increased the tension.

"What about… something more?" she was slightly glad that he finally verbalized what he's obviously been feeling lately.

"Is this your way of asking me out? Because it's really lame."

"Fine, fine. Asuka, when we get back, do you want to-"

"Now these points of data make a beautiful line, and we're out of beta, we're releasing on time," Asuka was swiftly and harshly dropped to the floor.

"Oh God! She's here!" he frantically pointed the pistol in all directions as the now-annoyed girl rubbed the back of her head, "Where? Come out!"

"Pilot Ikari?" he lowered the pistol at the sound of a familiar voice. None other than the social butterfly Rei turned out from a corner he didn't know existed as Asuka struggled back to her feet. This punch was truly meant to hurt him, "Soryu?" the sight in front of them was quite… odd, to say the least. Exactly like Asuka, she aged to the point of a late teenager and was wearing a black bikini, but that's where the similarities ended. Somehow, the girl apparently managed to not only find a military base, but also found the need to take countless guns with her. He couldn't even begin to count everything she had – ammo belts forming an X crossed her chest, a large minigun was holstered on her shoulder, and no less than three handguns were on her belt.

"Great, Wondergirl is here. We're saved. Whoopee. That hurt, you ass!" and yet another punch, "She doesn't even sound like GLaDOS!"

"Rei! Have you been in the computer this whole time?" just as casually as if the three were at school, she walks over to them as if nothing is out of place.

"No, I was sent in here to retrieve you two. However, I believe something went wrong – they can't seem to get me out. Give them time, Dr. Akagi will find a method to get us out. It has only been two days, and she has not had much time to work on it," both children go wide-eyed.

"That's bull! We've been in here for at least a month! Tell her, Shinji!"

"Y-Yeah, she's right. Is this the first game you've come into?" she simply nodded, "We've been in here a _long_ time. Do you have any ways of communicating with them?" once again, a simple answer of shaking her head. The girl was beginning to creep out the other two children… "Okay… well, let's stick together, it's safer that way."

"Hold the phone – Rei, do they know we're in that idiot's computer?" she raised an eyebrow, "Oh come on! So they don't even know where we are? How'd they send you here?"

"I am not a scientist. I can't explain how they sent me here, they simply did. Where is… _here_?"

"Kensuke's computer. And you interrupted a good moment, learn to be a little more considerate," as the girl spoke, a horrid scream could be heard echoing throughout the halls, "Get to work, Shinji," they say it's always the quiet ones you have to look out for. Apparently, that saying wasn't created with Rei in mind, because she had no vices showing exactly how sadistic she could be with her methods of killing aliens. There were points the other two children literally had to look away – some people just can't handle the sight of a blue haired beauty sodomizing a hog-man with a shotgun. The last individual of the horde was taken out by Shinji, and he was soon taken out by Asuka for his saying.

"I always said if there's a way to go, it would have something to do with women, whips, and oil. I go where I please, and I please where I go."

"I didn't know Ikari was so… blunt," she was the only one aware of the blush on her face.

"It was the game! Stop hitting me, Asuka!" his voice cracked as he screamed her name, forcing a laugh from her mouth, "Whatever…"

"Hold it back and I'll stop. So, Wondergirl, just as a heads up, we're all going to be naked as the day we were born when the game is over, which should happen any time now. I don't want any weird looks from you, got it?" Rei ignored the suggestion on her sexual preference and continued walking down the passage, "It's no fun mocking people when they don't respond! That's why I keep you around. Speaking of, what were you about to ask before?" she knew damn well what he was going to ask, but far be it from her to not get the satisfaction of him begging.

"Really? Fine… Asuka, when we get back, would you be my-" no such satisfaction came for the girl. No, instead, the room flashed into darkness and the three children fell onto the floor of the office – the two girls on their backs next to each other, and Shinji hovering over them with his arms as support.

"This was bound to happen eventually, no, Soryu?"

"God. Damn. It."

A/N – Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there… with a new girlfriend. Best commercial ever! But back on topic – here's the Duke Nukem chapter. I had quite a bit of trouble… in retrospect, I probably shouldn't have done this, because I've never played a single game of this series. Eh, whatever. I know this wasn't the best chapter, but I'll make it up in the next one – I have a doozy of ideas going. A doozy is a unit of volume, right? Anyone care to guess what it'll be? Here's a hint: "Hmm!" (if you've played the game, you'll probably get it…). Keep on keepin' on!


	8. Monster Hunter

Chapter 8: Monster Hunter

A/N – Don't forget to read the summary at the end if you've never played! Also, try to catch a reference to my favorite show in here. Finally, if you're not sure what the monster looks like, just Google image search the name. Enjoy!

"No, what do you _mean_ it was bound to happen? You're trying to get with him, aren't you? I knew it!" by now, Shinji was in his corner as the two girls fought – or, rather, Asuka yelled at Rei.

"You stated that we would end up in a room nude. That is what happened. It was bound to happen."

"Don't give me a grammar lesson, Wondergirl! I know exactly what you meant! Listen here, Shinji has tried to ask me out twice in the last half hour. The first time you freaked him out by singing, and I don't blame him, and the second time you tried to seduce him. So stay out of it!" the boy wasn't quite sure who's side to take; the logical side of Rei, or the girlfriend side of Asuka. Any sane man would have chosen the latter, but he was far from sane – he was aware of this, and just sat this one out, "Listen here, if you're just trying to get a boyfriend, find someone else!"

"I am not trying to court Ikari. Regardless, that is the male's obligation."

"So you _are_ trying to get a guy! Fine, if it keeps you out of our way, I'll help you with that. Who do you have your eyes on? Kensuke? Toji? Or do you play for the other team?" Rei's eyebrow twitched ever so slightly, "It doesn't matter, I know enough people to try and hook you up. What do you like in a guy?" no answer, "A girl?" still nothing, "You're making this difficult… fine, fine, I can work with this. I don't know a damn thing about you, so tell me about yourself. What's your favorite food?"

"Cow tongue."

"Come again? Did you just say cow _tongue_? Where in the world have you even had that?"

"Next question."

"Freak…" though they'd never admit it, both Shinji and Asuka silently wondered just how such a thing would taste. Logically, it should be pretty good – being a strong muscle and all – but… some things are better left in the garbage, "Fine, moving on. What's your favorite hobby?"

"Magnets."

"… magnets? Like, what, making magnets? Collecting magnets? Playing with magnets? You gave me a noun, that's not a hobby," Shinji really shouldn't have laughed, because the sad part is he knew exactly what Rei was talking about.

"Just magnets."

"I'll say you like snowboarding… likes?"

"Glasses."

"Like, a guy that wears glasses? Or nice sunglasses? What does that even mean?" by now, Shinji was turning blue from holding back the laughter.

"Just glasses."

"This girl is going to be the death of me…" she rubbed her eyes as she spoke to herself, "I'm afraid to ask, but what about dislikes?"

"People's knees."

"For Christ sake! You know what, thank God you're good looking, because you're a freak!" she stormed off to the other side of the room as Rei mumbled something about covering yourself up if you're going to be walking around, "Of all the people they sent in to save us, they send the freak of Nerv! Magnets? Glasses? Is that some weird fetish I've never heard of? God!" Shinji just couldn't hold it back any longer, "And what are you laughing at? Is this some kind of joke for you two? Give it a rest already!" and with a stomp of her foot, the entire room flashed and, in an instant, they found themselves standing in a hut with a single bed.

"You really need to watch your temper. This is the third time you've done this," the massive weight of whatever he was wearing was bearing heavy on his shoulders. He looked down to see something quite terrifying – a solid, jet black suit of armor that appeared to be made out of scales, claws, and fangs. On either one of his shoulders rested a massive, blood red horn of some God awful creature, and two, smaller, similar horns rested on his helmet of steel that covered his entire face. On the bed laid a massive sword of similar design.

"How will this defend me?" Rei looks down at herself and was much less amused than Shinji. Her entire outfit was aqua blue, made out of a much finer scale material than Shinji's, and essentially had the coverage of a sports bra and a skirt. She held two small daggers in her hands that, like Shinji's, matched her outfit.

"This is what I'm talking about!" Asuka was about the only one thrilled with her chosen armor. Thick, mounting red scales and black spikes covered her body with the occasional peaking of metal in certain areas such as the chest, thighs, and upper arms. An almost samurai-esque hood shielded her head, and the massive sword, barely smaller than her entire body, that was clearly hers – as it matched her outfit – rested on the bed on top of Shinji's massive hammer made out of the same material as his armor, "I know this game! It's Monster Hunter! I was just playing this in Germany right before I came here! This is so awesome…" she looked at herself from all angles and, in an action very un-Asuka-like, had absolutely no complaints.

"I, too, have played this game recently. Online, I go by the name of Azure," Asuka's heart sank.

"Wow, I didn't know you played too. Am I the only one who doesn't?"

"Rei… what server did you play on?" Asuka hasn't asked God for much in her life – maybe for a dress to go on sale, but not much beyond that. This she was willing to sell her soul for.

"Two. And yourself?" Asuka rubbed her eyes in annoyance.

"I'm DeutschBlut," even Rei's eyes widened at her response, but not enough for anyone to notice, "And yes, you heard me right. I can't believe this…"

"So… you two played together?"

"Quite a bit, yes, though I didn't know it was Soryu. We have over five hundred quests logged together, and we're actually one of the top parties in the server along with another player. The game must recognize us, because these are the exact armors and weapons we had in-game. In retrospect, I can see why my defense is lacking," Asuka moaned in annoyance as Rei looked over herself again, "I was curious as to why you quit the game without saying anything. Now I know."

"We are _never_ playing together again, you hear me? I can't believe I spent all those hours with you! God! You were so much cooler online, but look at you! Ah!" cursing in a language foreign to the other two children, she stormed out of the hut.

"Well… I think you look good, Rei."

"It is a low-level armor. I wore it as a challenge to see if I could survive. I did, and I liked the look of it, so I kept it. Asuka's is one of the best in the game, and yours is quite useless for people like Asuka and myself – our weapons require too much movement. Your defense is massive, and you're known as a tank. You essentially stand there and take damage while other people – that is, Asuka and I – work on damaging the monster quickly. Your hammer does a lot of damage, but just very, very slowly. It's better used as a shield, really," he's never heard her speak so… human. Her topics of conversation always include topics along the lines of basic survival, but talking about video games seemed like something he'd never do with her.

"So… I have to just stand there and take it?"

"Quite," she walked outside and followed Asuka down the path they the traversed countless times. Rei immediately knew where she was going – an extremely low level environment made specifically for the introductory players. The game, in Shinji's eyes, clearly allowed Asuka to carry her sword easier than she should be able to; she propped it over her shoulders as if it was a light piece of luggage. Though, his theory didn't exactly accommodate for his excessively heavy hammer, which drug several feet behind him as he struggled to keep up with the girls, all the while whining, "Soryu?"

"What?" her tone was piercing… apparently she was still upset about her new revelation that her best friend online was her worst enemy in real life. Funny how things work out, no?

"None of the typical gates are up in this area. Rathalos is most likely about," Asuka rolled her eyes as they walked past massive, herbivorous creatures in the first area.

"Of course he is, that's the mission I selected. He should go down pretty quickly between the three of us. Hell, I could probably take him by myself," Rei chose not to mention how she's essentially wearing the corpses of no less than five of the wyverns, "While we're here, Shinji might as well see why this game is so great. Rathalos is the signature monster, after all."

"True, but-"

"I'm not about to debate with you."

"Yes, but-"

"Zip it, Ayanami!" she did, indeed, zip it, "So Shinji, here's the plan – you're going to draw the monster's attention, got it? That thing can kill Rei and I in a few hits, but you should be able to just stand there and take it for us while we do the real damage. Just try not to run away, okay?" no reply, "Answer me when I'm talking to you, damn it!" she turned around to see why Rei was trying to get her attention. Shinji, frozen by fear, stared up at the large wyvern as it casually ate another monster, now beyond recognition, "Would ya look at that? Let's do this!"

"Soryu?"

"What? What is it? What's so important that it can't wait?"

There's a signature feature about the Rathalos that few inexperienced players know; it has a very keen sense of hearing. It mainly uses this to hunt its prey, which they do quite well. Specifically, the majority of its prey use high-pitched squeals for communication, so through the wonders of Darwinism, their sense of hearing is tuned specifically to high pitched noises. Asuka's voice, when angry, can shatter glass. She was angry. Within seconds, the wyvern was hauling towards the three with a monstrous roar, and Shinji aptly screamed, turned around, and ran as quickly as he could. The two girls followed suit, though their retreat was much, much faster. He didn't stand a chance, really.

"There, just like that, Shinji!" Rei and Asuka stared at Shinji as he lay on the ground, screaming bloody murder, while the Rathalos batted him around like an old cat toy. That is, until it once again heard Asuka's voice.

"Hey Rei?" Shinji walks up next to her, still panting from the previous ordeal.

"Yes?" that incessant screaming began to give her a headache.

"Should we help her? I mean, she's bound to trip eventually," as if the Rathalos recognized her chest piece as his long lost wife, it chased her in a massive circle in the middle of the field, all while she screamed foreign curses most likely having to do with murdering the two children when they get back.

"I tried telling her before – we were ambush hunters. We'd set up a trap, wait for the monster to step on it, and then go in for the kill. We've never practiced with a tank before," he nodded as if he understood anything. He didn't, "But I suppose we should help Soryu, yes," she glances over at the wyvern chasing Asuka, "But you first."

"W-Why me? You're the one who's experienced in this game! You go first!"

"It is because I'm experienced that I know I should not go first. You may want to duck," he takes the breath to ask why, only to be blown to the side by a massive fire ball thrown by Rathalos, "I told you to duck."

"That's what you get for not helping me!" the screaming girl ran over Shinji – quite literally, he still has the bruise to prove it – while still being chased by Rathalos, "Our date is _so_ off!"

"Ikari?"

"What?" face still down in the dirt and smoke rising from his back, he mumbled through the armor.

"The weak spot on the Rathalos is on its tail. If you were to hit it, the wyvern would be paralyzed for a time," at this point, he gave up an asking questions. Shinji struggled to his feet and held the massive hammer up with much effort. Instead of chasing after the dragon – which he realized would never work – he opted to just wait for Asuka to run by again. She did not disappoint. His hammer came down like the fist of an angry god onto the tail, and while he expected a roar of pain, he instead got more of an annoyed glance from the wyvern, "You missed it. The weak spot is further down," he'd never seen Rei run before. He had now. Rathalos let out an earth-shattering roar at the boy, who now clearly needed new pants (or whatever in the world he was wearing, he wasn't sure).

The roar was cut off prematurely, though, as what looked like an extension of the wyvern shot out the top of its. Blood pours from the forehead and chin, completely soaking an absolutely fuming Asuka. She held her sword above her head and through the wyvern's skull with now dead eyes. She stared at Shinji with a look that could melt glass, and it sent shivers up his spine that she didn't move out of the way from the blood. Or blink, for that matter. She huffed like a boar at the boy, and he could have sworn he saw little puffs of smoke coming from her nostrils. By now, her entire body was crimson red with the blood, and the only deviations of this were the white glimmer of teeth as she bared them like a pit bull and piercing blue devil-jewels she calls eyes. Even those portions of colors were slowly being filled with red.

"That's what nightmares are made of, right there," he tried to play it off as a joke. She wasn't laughing. And still not blinking, "Add another one to your collection, right?" he nervously laughed as she grunted, "You're mad at me, aren't you?"

"You don't… know the definition… of mad," she spoke in between angered pants as she let her sword and the wyvern fall behind her.

"Is it gone?" Rei peaked out from a tree roughly fifty yards away as she spoke. Asuka shot her a horrid glare, and the girl went back to her place behind the foliage.

"Oh come on! I helped you!" she walked towards him in a Frankenstein manner as he backed up, still sitting on the floor, "I-I didn't know what to do! I've never played this game before!" she stopped right over him, now dripping blood onto his armor, "Please don't hurt me…"

"I'm not going to lay a finger on you," in retrospect, maybe wishing for her to smile was a bad choice on his part. He'd never seen something to terrifying in his life. She pulled out a large black object from behind her that resembled a ram's horn and blew into it, sending an echo through the mountains. Still smiling, she dropped the horn and walked away, "Asuka? Um… Asuka? What was that?" he heard countless roars through the air, "Asuka? This isn't funny! Come on! What did you do?" a large thud rocked the ground behind him. And then another. And another. Struggling through his shaking body, he turned his head to see three wyverns similar to the dead one at his feet, all in a different color; one silver, one pink, and one green Rathalos all stood behind him, staring down at the boy as if they hadn't eaten in months.

They hadn't.

A/N – Hey all, sorry that it took so long for me to update. I had _serious_ writer's block on this. Like, crippling. But here it is, finally. The next chapter will most likely be Bloodrayne, but I'm not sure yet. We'll all just have to wait and see. Keep on keepin' on!

Summary – This is a hard game to explain… it's an RPG where you basically go around killing monsters (which look like dinosaurs with more spikes). From those, you carve their bodies for meat and, more importantly, parts for new weapons. If you Google image search "Monster Hunter weapons", you'll notice that they all look very organic. That's because they are. Same goes for all of the armor and supplies. It's actually a very neat game, and I'm waiting for the English version of the new game to come out.


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